Merry Christmas Everyone!

Yeah its a nice Christmas which i didnt expect it to be in this way.
Very Different.

Went through Jason and Xiuling pre early xmas house party celebration, Marvellous!
I enjoyed max although its simple.
-turkey once again the main problem of cooking and cant finish it.
-finally we met up Peiying and her new bf plus Sianming, (many years didnt see them at all).
-More people this time as both sides of the group mergering together for celebration.
-like being a planner and satisfied on my explanation for the game to go fun and wild!
-brought a good interesting card game, Swap!
too bad didnt got time to try on my taboo and polarbear game.
-Gift exchange which i didnt expect to be from Mark, unique groovy guitars ice cube tray.
-surprise part, extra gift from Jason and Xiuling.
I got a bright yellow notebook, cool!
-Overall great to make new friends.

Another xmas party at the actual eve day which i planned didnt go smoothly as many things did happen at my close friends side.
-Someone passed away at such a young age.
Depression.
Didnt expect to turn out in this way.
Everyone is down.
-Two couples didnt have a good time with each other, spending their day to solve it themselves.
-Cancelled the party.
- In the end it turns out in another way for my celebration.
-Just hope this period everyone is back and together like usual.

Everyone is curious on how come this period i didnt talk much about her, NTU.
Haha i am not angry with her or avoiding her (MIA).
Maybe she thought it is the sat dinner issue but it is not.
I did have a little disappointment when i called her up one of the day, she didnt even respond and reply back.
Can see from there onwards not much news from her.
haha maybe she is running away from me or angry on me.
or maybe busy with her dating (someone whom she is very active in her sms).
I will respect her decision on how she wants it to go, its herself.
I did not think much at all this time and just let my mind be freely run.
Not like last time, i take it very seriously, keep asking around what should i do.
Maybe caused by the REBORN.
-I didnt tell anyone i almost have an accident on 09th Dec 2010.
-I may just go in a sec.
-scary.
-no alcohol at all.
-very tired after work plus late dinner.
-eyes keep closing while driving.
-without realising the car speed keeps increasing from 120km/hr..130..140...
-almost going to bang into another car.
-suddenly applying ebrake thus created such a terrible loud noise and smoke also.
-company van losts control and occupied horizontally along TPE lane 1 and lane 2.
-created such an impact on me, realised something.
-do not know how to describle it.
-just say its a Reborn.

I am thinking of giving a thought on trying out charity works.
Heard from Jason and Xiuling mentioned Ry know about it, may wants to find it out more from her and do something meaningful.
Firstly need to check out on the schedule of their duties and from then work it out on my timing to fix it well and smoothly.

I received a call from Uncle, it was not a good call.
Maybe i will talk it more on the next bloging.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Such a disappointment!!!

i failed my exam!
didnt know it came out so fast on the sunday.

My mood already not there when i know i didnt do well for my presentation.
To make thing more worst, exam result released out in the night.
How will a normal person take it such a blow at the same time.
Spending so much time on doing my presentation, even given up my long waited marathon yet received such a disappointment.

When this time round i am looking up for my good friends for listening ear, no one is there.
All never pick up my call on sunday.
i cant believe it.
are you guys playing fun on me or is it gods you?
even ask them out, no one can make it on any day.
do u guys believe it, so coincidence.
all of them push it on coming sunday.

am i asking too much?
or am i still behave like a baby, need many attention?
why cant i behave like some of my guy friends, simply dont care anything.

feel like giving up hope on friends and be myself alone.
Yes i know everyone is busy but somehow should be able to spare a little time when a friend there need accompany.
does anyone know recently i just realised something, a secret.
all these years since poly, i didnt know my such guy friend cheated on me again and again.
why he needs to do that, he really do not know how to treasure friendship but just to make use of people.
seeing him hurting on me when i put so much time and hope on friends, yet i got this kind of result.

anyway forget it, i just go out on my own this week.
do my hiking, take a seabreeze or whatever.
have my dinner with my ye ye and forget it, no need to make myself so hard to make an appointment with friends.

is it a depression?

sorry Quek, i didnt keep my promise.
I did something wrong in one of the day.
It was not a good day for me, feel hurt in my heart.
And i went to touch the cigarette and its a chain of smoke.
How silly i am.
I know i should not, but somehow i do not know why.
Why am i alway so weak and easy get hurt?

Whatever the answer is, i need to respect her decision.
I didnt talk much or pester on her on that day.
I didnt even tell her i didnt accept the girl that confess her love to me long ago.
Do not know what happened, my heart is still vibrating.
I am very scare of depression, not sure does anyone knows.
Anyway i still accept her as my friend, this is the path i chosen myself.
I do not want to leave her and gone like most guys did.
Well at the same time i am finding solution to cure myself and i think i got a way now.

No matter what, after that day i still need to follow on my agreement and also do not touch the cigarette again.
and for this one whole year not to fall in love with anyone.

these few days my head is getting pain, not sure is it the hangover i got or think too much on friends issues. Some misunderstanding and i feel i lost some impt friends.
Pls forgive me, i am also suffering depression at the moment.
I need you friends around.

tomorrow is a day i will be going sgh to see my doctor for the overall result.
Ater a series of tests, the final report is ready to release to me tmr.
Pray for positive result!

17th november

its 17th nov again..
time flies so fast..
4yrs already since 2007..

maybe to another people, its just another day to them.
but to me its not.
its a special and meaningful day to me.
Alway cant wait for it to come but somehow hope it pauses at that moment.

an agreement i need to fulfill

i know its a tough life but its good for me.
i need to thank you Quek for giving me this chance and spending time doing the explaination.
he is giving me a clear mind of what i want.
i signed the agreement, promised not to commit any of the terms listed.
saying i will be kicking away those bad habits.
Everything will be up to me whether i got that determination to do it.
Thank you for giving me this chance to turn into a new leaf.
i will not disppoint everyone.
Promise

work hard

Troubled with something...

cant get to sleep..
feel troubled, but this time around its not about love stuff.
much more serious stuff comparing to it.
how i wish there is a listening ear now.
really do not want to share it with my parents as they already got other issues to worry.
how i wish you friends are around to support, accompany me.
thats why when i mentioned in my previous blog text, i need you friends around.

just a silly mistake i committed.
till now then i realised the problem.
why am i so careless, need a wall to bang into it.

haiz...
my mood always coincide with the raining weather.
whenever i am down or moody, without fail, it will rain on the day.
Guess these few days can see the result very well.

i know i should not waste my time on blog writing
but i feel at least my, this friend is alway here to hear my grumbling, listen to it attentively.
I still need this friend to be around.
I want to change into a new leaf.
Proof to everyone i can discipline myself and protrait the real me.
And also i am firm to stop the bad habits i have now, not good for me and my future.
I feel that is not what i am now, i want to be back to myself where i am more comfortable with.
over the weeks, you guys may not use to it but hope you guys understand.

Really feel everyone is not there

to me friends are important.
Loanshark also let me realised it when that time i almost going to give up hope.

I really feel everyone is not there, together.
whenever comes to an important day, i am sure someone is going to be missing.
It is hard for everyone to be here together.
I thought this kind of day is good for catching up, updates.
Feel disappointed.
I rather everyday is just a normal day to me, do not want any holiday at all.
whats wrong couples cannot meet up together?
Busy is really the main reason?

maybe i need to give myself a tight slap, why bother to spend so much time on friends issues when my important stuffs didnt really go and do.
Xiuling and Jason will be disappointed when i didnt focus on my objective again.

Loanshark's message

I received many of my birthday regards but among the rest, one of them did bring me out laughter.
Her message was simple but in a way did cheer me up at the right time. I cant imagine my actual birthday was in the jungle fighting hard with those mozzies and missions. Haha i thought i was cutting cake at that time.


"Shushu! Happy 30th birthday! I bet u must be bored in camp!
Dont worry when u are out, must get u a big present and celebrate for u!
Dont worry although u are 30 u are still the most trendy shushu! :D "


Thanks Loanshark!
Wish u and your bf are doing well :)

Cheers,
ShuShu

Short message to say i am doing fine

Guys, im doing fine, no worries. Not actually mia but just too many things running at this period. I am busy preparing for exams and also running very tight on my work. Giving alot of attention and wanted to do an excellent job for my company. I did spend many late nights for work, even Sat and Sun. Hope you guys believe i am not avoiding anyone. I wont have much time on msn or meet up but after Nov, i will be quite free, hope to see everyone soon. There are Many updates wanna share with you guys.

Seeya Nov, guys!!

Cheers,
Joe

My 30th Happy Birthday, Joe!!

23 sept 2010 my Birthday



Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the well wishes from various communciation channels (phone call, sms, email, fb and etc). ;> Thank u for the gifts and treats too which came earlier or later. ;> Am blessed and fortunate.

Cheers,

Joe Sim

Bad Luck period will be over soon....

Wondering when my fever will go away, torturing me since sat. After customer had signed the contract, my new project has started. RAJA, a beautiful name given to my project. Everyone hopes to have a good start, and this project will last another 2-3years. My goodness, it is another long period again. Usually for my company‘s project, each one will take min 2 years to complete. If anyone ask you how many projects you did, from there they know how to calculate how many years you are working in the company.


Well Boss approved my leave in September; currently I left next week to rush for all the critical works. My intention is to hand in beautifully to another “temporary in” person to help me. Because it is my project, I do not want it to be mess up when I am back.


With the fever around, it is like torturing me these few days especially when I am working late. Furthermore this week got class and I need to rush for some assignments to hand in. Currently what I really need is TIME. My people thought I will choose REST but nope. I am okay to do all these things, because the interest is there. Just that I do not want to rush like hell, I prefer to do thing in my style, systematic way.


There are many things to grumble for my work, no point saying out. Make it short, I am facing some critical issues to rush through during this short period before I am away. Along the way, some people really did not do a nice job and handed their part to me, expecting me to complete in a shorter time for them. Although I am running this project and I am the so call “the central person”, but does not mean to take for granted, expect me to check everything is it correct and move to another level. Very time consuming if at any point or level, anyone did not do a nice job, everything will go back to “square one”.


Next worries will be our school group projects, need to ask everyone out soon to discuss. I want to make sure everyone knows their part to do and complete it when I come back.


Yeah I received back my stolen wallet from the Police on Monday. Beside the money, all cards are intact. This pickpocket is really greedy. Stolen my company prizes of $300, he even want my coins plus ezylink and cashcard. Anything got values, he just took it. Luckily I got back my Ic and driving license, which bring down the total loss to $700 instead of $1100 initially.


Well just hope after my 30th birthday, everything will be a good start for me!


Cheers,
Joe Sim

away from home...

Just a little updates..

I will be away from home from 9th Sept 10 to 25th Sept 10 for a period of 17 days.
Currently still waiting for my Boss to approve my leave.

Hope he is able to release me from this busy work schedule to allow me to take a break.

Pray :)

Cheers,
Joe

updates after e op...

Day Six...

after e op..

work..

im quite satisfied with my work done. Giving out more than 100% to clear up whatever outstanding stuffs.
i even went in to Boss's room to have a chat, asking him if there is any room for my improvement. He was stunned in the first place but its a good experience to hear his view on me.
i feel after i have promoted, more responsibility have to be there.
Need to be more independent, helping up on those juniors.
The standard requirement of a senior need to be there.

studies..

i having an exam on coming sunday. Currently still busy preparing.
But i can say i am about to get sick soon, today my flu is getting worse.
Maybe not enough sleep ba, its like every day studying up to 2am, sometimes even till 3am.
Guess even a robot also will go down.

parents..

they are doing fine.
Mum wanted to change my room structure, everything.
She wanted to give me a much more cosy place to study comparing to now.
I stunned when the designer came down that day, i thought mum was just kidding.
Heard everything going to cost ard 5k, and i surely do not want her to fork out that money.
Its her hard earn money.
Hee guess i going to eat lesser this period to save more.

friends..

everyone is doing fine.
feel happy for you guys.
keep it up!

I did not know i will be out that day,
thanks jason and xiuling, its a pleasant outing.
I enjoyed the KTV and also the dinner.
I heard from birdie telling me something.. haha its a matchmaking day right?
Okay she sang well, esp on those korean songs, i am quite impressed.
yeah a happy go lucky girl.
And he told me, she is going to complete her PHD soon.
i never hear wrongly, PHD right?
how did she do that at such a young age?
Does Birdie say anything for himself?

Day of the message:: If you dont have a plan for where you want to go, how do you know if you are lost?

End of writing.

cheers
joe

Just a change on me

Everything went fine, currently have to wait for the report to be out in 18th of August.
I feel somehow there is a change on me after this op, like i just woke up on something.

Chatted up again with my friend, Darren, we discussed on the next 5 years what things will happen. There is many important stuffs waiting for us to do.
Building up a family, getting a flat need alot of thinking.
Need to have a proper planning.
We always have this thinking, spending is easy, saving is hard.
We must save even more for raining days.

My age now is the crucial time to pay more attention rather than at age 35 then start to think.

Result was out last week.
I did not do well for the last paper, feel disappointed getting a C grade.
I want to spend more time on my studying to pull up for better grades on the next few modules.
Thinking i may not be free at all times now for everyone.
Hope you guys can understand.

Day of the Message:: Drink more water, rest more.

End of Writing.

Regards,
Joe

a night of thinking...

Stress can create cancer..
really not sure if there is anything growing in it.
I do hope it is a false alarm.

each day when i get to know the result is going to come out soon, my whole mind keeps thinking alot.
i am trying to take thing easily, but do not know why my whole body do not permitted.

again 5am, i still cant get to sleep, my sleeping cycle is off again.
i keep thinking alot of things..work..studies..friends...and ntu..

yesterday met up with darren, i did not know why i got such a serious talk with him about my life.
He also believe its not me myself esp this period.
I told him i am giving a thought of leaving everyone..
maybe to him, he is thinking i am kidding with him.
i just do not want to involve in anything, helping in anything, do not want to be in anywhere!!
Look at the time, i am not sure did i wasted or not..
i do not know how to describe my feeling nw.
and exam is coming soon, two more weeks..

Recently i need to search one of her sms and went through every single of her sms that i have kept for these yrs.
reading on every sms, telling me about what we have went through, what i have did and giving out my best to help her.
almost coming to 3 yrs of waiting... 17-11-07...
hw i wish we can get to know each other in the beginning again.
a fresh new start like last time, where almost everyday we get to chat on phone, share all the things she is doing.

I know its impossible now for this start. To her, i should really thank her, all the while she is doing her homework well for not being MIA, something which i told her. But to me, i disappointed her again and again for not doing my homework well.

Recently we met and did not know why we discussed this topic again.
I told her i still like her, cannot be stopped.
But i will do my homework well this time regardless what she did. Cos i always think too much, thinking isit she is doing it for me.
Well i have stated in the previous blog message, i treasure her such a good friend here, do not want to lose her anymore.
Whenever my feeling is too close to her, i will just do my homework well myself.
I just do not want to lose such a friend again.

Anyway i keep thinking,what can i give it to her.
Look at me now, its like everything not proper done yet.
I still need a few yrs to get my career on track with my studies completed.
By the time her age, she should have married.
Normally girls married around the right time at age 24-27.
Time does tell something.
I feel she can find much better, stable guy comparing to me.

Recently also heard from her, got guys going after her.
And whenever we go out, i also got noticed she is busy on sms-ing.
I think she has found a guy she likes.
If not she wont ask me this qns: will u still ask me out, if i got a bf.
Well i told myself i should feel happy for her and i should try not to disturb her 'honey period' too much.

Being a guy, i should concentrate on my career.
Let love relationship stuff put it the least priority ba,
and let my career and studies be the first priority from now onwards..
Must to--
I believe my focus abit off the track recently.

Well haiz guess this year my birthday going to be a lonely special year of 30 again.
Single...single...and... still single.... for 30yrs... :(

Joe
13-07-10
6.54am

16th July gng in.....

well 16th july 2010 i will be going in sgh for my gastroscopy operation. At the same time i get to know my new blood test result before the op. To everyone is like a normal and fun friday, but no people will know at another corner still got people around suffering the pain. It will start at 4pm, a timing which i borned out. Will be in coma again. I hate this feeling, cos whenever i wake up, i really do not know where am i, am i in the real place? I am not sure whether do i need to stay in, see how it goes.
Although its a minor op but i think i am much worried is the result. As stated previously in my blog, doc already asked me to get prepare, stand by. Hopefully its not what the doc's prediction.

During this period, i've been doing many researchs on dyspepsia illness. I do not know why i keep seeing the word, cancer. Is it really true it is linked together? Can it dont be!
I have to face the fact if the result turns out like this. I have grown up already, gotta be brave to face everything. Maybe it is fate ba. Currently i trying to stay firm and calm, putting cheerful smiles around to everyone. Do not want anyone to know and worried about me, especially my parent. They will be super upset and cannot take it if they know.
I havnt told anyone including my family. They are getting old, do not want them to get worried.

Guess it is the same as 4 years back, an operation which i went through alone. It is like very scary when sitting alone at the seat waiting for my turn to go in. These few days it is like no mood to work and to study, but i still trying to give my best to do it.
Stress and feel alone.

a-l-o-n-e
isnt nice feeling..

Best regards,
Joe Sim

its my mind that change..

Actually things didnt change, its the mind that change. Maybe i have grown up, the things that i look will be differently, at different angle that i want.

Seeing my age coming to 30 soon, i am seriously worried about my career and my family. They are getting old and i know my current job has reached a peak, i told myself i want to keep on processing myself up. I want to earn even more to give myself,my future wife and my parents a better life.

I do not want people seeing me like playing around, having fun but actually they did not understand me well. I am working very hard now improving my current states. I am serious on my career advancement, i really do not want to be an useless guy sitting there only.
There is no need to explain to anyone who is still thinking i am still playing around. Let them be, well my side i just know what i am doing will do.

a month ago, i met a son of his mother at a guan yin's temple nearby. I do not know her but we are like very 'click-ed', chatted alot about life. She is worried about his son about his safely, every night cannot sleep well. His son 's interest is in bikes, from a small one changed to a bigger one. The speed limit increases. Every time his mum will not sleep first until she see him back home safely. From there, it linked my mind to something.

I feel that we must treasure our life and also do not let people around us worried.
Well everyone sure got thing to regret doing or not doing but tell yourself our life can only live once, must learn to forgive and forget,live happily to max!
And i also try to be home often, i do not want my mum also worried about me.

Well over this period, i did not share much with anyone about my worries. I feel the situation i should solve it by myself. I have grown up, time to be independent, thinking what is right for me. I should be the one doing the decision.

Joe
25th June 2010
241am end.

a message for loanshark...

10th june 2010 thursday

Loanshark,

still remember i told you about the little nus, which this nickname was given by you.

I finally saw her.

But not i dated her out.

Did not know the world is so small, i saw her at ps when i was doing for my graphic papers shopping.

Quite amazing i can know who is her from far.
Shu Shu really good at recognise people hor ;)

Thinking back, actually i wont have this chance to see her.
at some point i still hesitate of going ps to do shopping alone.
So at the right time, right angle and right position, i saw her.

She looked elegant.
Shu Shu still cannot make it, ultimate shy, i did not approach her and say hi.
Haha i think you can ask me to knock against a wall.

She fly off already on 15th June 2010 Tuesday, summer break at united states.
Wondering how long will she be back?

wish her have a good trip and have fun there.

Cheers,
Joe

Finally im back :)

HiHi i am back, wow i didnt know i have been MIA for such a long time..

hee finally settled everything and i feel glad to be here writing..

during that period, there is some up and down.
Well everything i have put aside and turn in to a new direction,
my main aim now is cherish friends around.
these two months, i got back almost all the friends that never contact for long.
Didnt know so much changes on them.
Yeah it is true, friends around built u up.
I need you all.

well after some time of missing out, i do not think there are people here reading my blog now.
Maybe only those loyal fans of mine will read up ba..
hee can a show of hand who is still reading it?
wish to know...

today i wrote up a total of 3 blogs together.
firstly is my intro.
secondly impt is my health and checkup.
followed by getting an impt friend back.

cheers,
joe

my checkup

3th june 2010,

i finally went in sgh to do my medical checkup and consultation.

Spending the day doing a new full blood test, gotta wait for the report to be out first before i can proceed on the scope operation.

i have fixed a much nearer date, 16th july 2010 to have the scope check.

Thank you very much for all my good friends wishes, regards and accompany.
i feel touched but do not know why in somehow i feel very down also.

actually i missed a part which i didnt tell anyone of you.
do not want anyone to know and worried about me.
the doctor actually asked me to be prepare, maybe its due to family medical history.
and i think i know what she is hinting at...

I really do not want this to be happen.

I keep telling myself everything will be fine on me, such a good lad wont have that illness one.
I gotta put a smiling face on it okie

pray me healthy alwayz

joe :)

Happy Birthday to YOU :)

i thought i wont be meeting her again.

and i feel grateful to celebrate her birthday this year.

wishing her everyday happy and healthy alwayz..

i feel much better now.

thank you her for giving me this chance to meet.

i know i expressed wrongly that time, actually i didnt mean it in that way.

hope she understand it.

sorry, i really do not have the courage to tell her.

Really want to treasure this time, she is really a good friend to me.

I do not want to lose her anymore.

sincerely,

Joe

my Best Shot! Bang.. Bang..

Dear Granny,

5 more days to go..

Management of Organisations will be my first paper.

I will give it my Best!

After giving myself a little short break during the weekend, attended my good friend, ivy’s birthday! Time to let my mind to get back to study again.

I felt this break is necessary for me, thanks Ivy and Darren!
Recently went back Chinatown a few times, esp. mohd ali lane again. Didn’t know Ivy intro us her homeground dishes, si chuan at a Chinese restaurant, gu xiang in smith street. Hee Chinatown again. She is quite a good host, telling us a lot about the dishes names. The warm feeling brings us back to hometown, ‘jia xiang’, having dinner with our families. One thing I realized every dishes contain a lot of oil and its really spicy..hot hot..
Got one dish whereby u gets to see green chilies cut into slices and mixed with oil. Oh is this consider as a dish..? so Unique and overall I give a thumb up, Yummy!

We have a little chill out later, fun with many shots and lychee martinis filled the whole table. And it’s a special day with someone on hen night. Very funny and creative that the sisters bring her around to get along with all those guys, and we can see she is very shy with her pinky rabbit’s marriage costumer. And one sa bo method was to let her go around to have a kiss with anyone, and she will get $10 per person. Haha funny idea right? Well not a bad catch, she raised $380 for it. Hee it’s a fun night after such a long time staying back for studies.

Am I dreaming again?

Granny, I am still not feeling well. Can see my stress level did not control properly and not to let too many people worry, I show it to everyone that I am perfectly okay. To my surprise, I got myself a deep cut on my left eye a few days ago. Blood keep flowing throughout the whole night.
It was happened inside a dream first. I remembered I was running toward my graduation group photo taking . Seeing my best seat going to be taken by someone, I increased my speed and “ BONG”, I banged myself into a wall. Sleeprunning!!? Oh my goodness, I fainted. When I woke up in the morning, realized i got a cut. Haha.. was so funny that I can run in the reality world when I am actually inside the dream.

These few days, thank you very much to my colleagues. They did a lot of help for me, especially my report.
We can stay till nearly 2am and helping me without any condition. Thanks Calvin and the rest!

Till today I received a lot of my friends, colleagues of their regards and their best wishes. They all wanted me to do well on my papers. Oops pressure pressure.. cannot let them down. I will give my best shot!

Today before I left for a super long leave, I received an amazing present, super late Christmas gift and a card. I found the card very meaningful; he realized I changed this period. With all the time I have been keep saying I will change. Just need abit of time, and I proved it to everyone. Feeling very touched and warmed.. I will still keep up the good work!

Jia You!

Joe Sim

a brand new year, 2010

Dear Granny,

It is a year of 2010 now.
Didn’t know time files so fast, when that time I was 20 doing a countdown for a special year of 2000. I still remembered Singapore aimed to get into the world cup. But from all these years, it is like still far from achievement. World cup is coming soon, do hope my favorite country, England win it.

Many things I will like to share with you, just like we used to chat, sitting along the canal pathway with your nice cardboards on our butts. Funny thing is we keep looking at the opposite side, whereby the Japanese having their wine at the jap. Restaurant, while we were having our Chinese tea. I missed those days. All these while I am doing fine with exam are coming soon. There will be two papers on the 17th and 24th of January. After 1.5 yrs of resting, it will be my first major paper to sit for it. I looking toward to challenge it but currently I am quite worried about the time. Counting down, it is like 14 more days left. When I need more time, there is a problem on my sleeping. This period I tend to sleep more and more. I am wondering why I cannot be last time, sleep only 4hrs a day. Is it old people tend to sleep more? But I did ask around, hearing people do say in the opposite way. Mum told me maybe my body is tired, need more rest. I started to drink bitter coffee now to keep myself awake and also with lots of mum given pills. Sometimes I am wondering am I sick, why I have to take so many pills? Haha.. Currently I am afraid one of my module, Economics. It is totally new to me, but I find it interesting comparing to engineering which I studied before. It provides me with many knowledge of knowing what is happening outside the world and I will like to know more. But the pace of my degree is too fast, without much time for me to explore. Hopefully next time when I am free, I will like to find out more.

It is a beautiful Sunday today. Sitting inside the library, I can see the warmth and soothing sun smiling at me outside the window panel. I started to like our national library, a good place which I want to visit more often. Nowadays my colleagues still find it hard to believe I am studying whenever I am free , they thought I will be inside somewhere chilling out, more on clubbing. But I wondering why they cannot really understand me more without listening to people anyhow spread the rumor. I hate people without evidence and anyhow say a person. I strongly believe it will hurt a person or his image badly. I admit I did club a lot when I first started out on my age 25. But everything is a past now, I seriously find it useless to spend time there clearing my emo. Well I feel too tired to explain to anyone and decided to focus just on my things. I believe one or these days, they will understand. Guess only close friends will know what is happening around me recently. Ever since you left, i will never want to spend the time wrongly and regret in the end.

Spending long hrs in the library, I started to build friends around with the librarians, especially level 8-business floor. One of them said life is so much different now, our living standard. I did not know their paid is so little and have to work for long hrs- 12hrs+1hrs. They wanted me to study hard and achieve it well on my career. Both of us also agreed that Chinese tend to give birth to one or two child nowadays, whereby Malays will be different, like to give birth more. She told me last time some Malays can give out up to 20 children per family. Oh my goodness, I wondered how the family will survive if it is now. She is a kind easy going person. Normally when I am stress, will go and find her for a little chat. Oh she even told me the management in the library is horrible. You know what; the drinking cooler at the basement level is spoilt. Till now they have not change the filter. Oh it can cause serious problem for the people that drink it. So scary!

Miss you very much.
I promised I still stick closely to my resolution for this year. I want to be a better man.

Once again please protect me, wish me luck on whatever I am doing.

Cheers,
Joe