is it a depression?

sorry Quek, i didnt keep my promise.
I did something wrong in one of the day.
It was not a good day for me, feel hurt in my heart.
And i went to touch the cigarette and its a chain of smoke.
How silly i am.
I know i should not, but somehow i do not know why.
Why am i alway so weak and easy get hurt?

Whatever the answer is, i need to respect her decision.
I didnt talk much or pester on her on that day.
I didnt even tell her i didnt accept the girl that confess her love to me long ago.
Do not know what happened, my heart is still vibrating.
I am very scare of depression, not sure does anyone knows.
Anyway i still accept her as my friend, this is the path i chosen myself.
I do not want to leave her and gone like most guys did.
Well at the same time i am finding solution to cure myself and i think i got a way now.

No matter what, after that day i still need to follow on my agreement and also do not touch the cigarette again.
and for this one whole year not to fall in love with anyone.

these few days my head is getting pain, not sure is it the hangover i got or think too much on friends issues. Some misunderstanding and i feel i lost some impt friends.
Pls forgive me, i am also suffering depression at the moment.
I need you friends around.

tomorrow is a day i will be going sgh to see my doctor for the overall result.
Ater a series of tests, the final report is ready to release to me tmr.
Pray for positive result!

17th november

its 17th nov again..
time flies so fast..
4yrs already since 2007..

maybe to another people, its just another day to them.
but to me its not.
its a special and meaningful day to me.
Alway cant wait for it to come but somehow hope it pauses at that moment.

an agreement i need to fulfill

i know its a tough life but its good for me.
i need to thank you Quek for giving me this chance and spending time doing the explaination.
he is giving me a clear mind of what i want.
i signed the agreement, promised not to commit any of the terms listed.
saying i will be kicking away those bad habits.
Everything will be up to me whether i got that determination to do it.
Thank you for giving me this chance to turn into a new leaf.
i will not disppoint everyone.
Promise

work hard

Troubled with something...

cant get to sleep..
feel troubled, but this time around its not about love stuff.
much more serious stuff comparing to it.
how i wish there is a listening ear now.
really do not want to share it with my parents as they already got other issues to worry.
how i wish you friends are around to support, accompany me.
thats why when i mentioned in my previous blog text, i need you friends around.

just a silly mistake i committed.
till now then i realised the problem.
why am i so careless, need a wall to bang into it.

haiz...
my mood always coincide with the raining weather.
whenever i am down or moody, without fail, it will rain on the day.
Guess these few days can see the result very well.

i know i should not waste my time on blog writing
but i feel at least my, this friend is alway here to hear my grumbling, listen to it attentively.
I still need this friend to be around.
I want to change into a new leaf.
Proof to everyone i can discipline myself and protrait the real me.
And also i am firm to stop the bad habits i have now, not good for me and my future.
I feel that is not what i am now, i want to be back to myself where i am more comfortable with.
over the weeks, you guys may not use to it but hope you guys understand.

Really feel everyone is not there

to me friends are important.
Loanshark also let me realised it when that time i almost going to give up hope.

I really feel everyone is not there, together.
whenever comes to an important day, i am sure someone is going to be missing.
It is hard for everyone to be here together.
I thought this kind of day is good for catching up, updates.
Feel disappointed.
I rather everyday is just a normal day to me, do not want any holiday at all.
whats wrong couples cannot meet up together?
Busy is really the main reason?

maybe i need to give myself a tight slap, why bother to spend so much time on friends issues when my important stuffs didnt really go and do.
Xiuling and Jason will be disappointed when i didnt focus on my objective again.

Loanshark's message

I received many of my birthday regards but among the rest, one of them did bring me out laughter.
Her message was simple but in a way did cheer me up at the right time. I cant imagine my actual birthday was in the jungle fighting hard with those mozzies and missions. Haha i thought i was cutting cake at that time.


"Shushu! Happy 30th birthday! I bet u must be bored in camp!
Dont worry when u are out, must get u a big present and celebrate for u!
Dont worry although u are 30 u are still the most trendy shushu! :D "


Thanks Loanshark!
Wish u and your bf are doing well :)

Cheers,
ShuShu

Short message to say i am doing fine

Guys, im doing fine, no worries. Not actually mia but just too many things running at this period. I am busy preparing for exams and also running very tight on my work. Giving alot of attention and wanted to do an excellent job for my company. I did spend many late nights for work, even Sat and Sun. Hope you guys believe i am not avoiding anyone. I wont have much time on msn or meet up but after Nov, i will be quite free, hope to see everyone soon. There are Many updates wanna share with you guys.

Seeya Nov, guys!!

Cheers,
Joe

My 30th Happy Birthday, Joe!!

23 sept 2010 my Birthday



Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the well wishes from various communciation channels (phone call, sms, email, fb and etc). ;> Thank u for the gifts and treats too which came earlier or later. ;> Am blessed and fortunate.

Cheers,

Joe Sim

Bad Luck period will be over soon....

Wondering when my fever will go away, torturing me since sat. After customer had signed the contract, my new project has started. RAJA, a beautiful name given to my project. Everyone hopes to have a good start, and this project will last another 2-3years. My goodness, it is another long period again. Usually for my company‘s project, each one will take min 2 years to complete. If anyone ask you how many projects you did, from there they know how to calculate how many years you are working in the company.


Well Boss approved my leave in September; currently I left next week to rush for all the critical works. My intention is to hand in beautifully to another “temporary in” person to help me. Because it is my project, I do not want it to be mess up when I am back.


With the fever around, it is like torturing me these few days especially when I am working late. Furthermore this week got class and I need to rush for some assignments to hand in. Currently what I really need is TIME. My people thought I will choose REST but nope. I am okay to do all these things, because the interest is there. Just that I do not want to rush like hell, I prefer to do thing in my style, systematic way.


There are many things to grumble for my work, no point saying out. Make it short, I am facing some critical issues to rush through during this short period before I am away. Along the way, some people really did not do a nice job and handed their part to me, expecting me to complete in a shorter time for them. Although I am running this project and I am the so call “the central person”, but does not mean to take for granted, expect me to check everything is it correct and move to another level. Very time consuming if at any point or level, anyone did not do a nice job, everything will go back to “square one”.


Next worries will be our school group projects, need to ask everyone out soon to discuss. I want to make sure everyone knows their part to do and complete it when I come back.


Yeah I received back my stolen wallet from the Police on Monday. Beside the money, all cards are intact. This pickpocket is really greedy. Stolen my company prizes of $300, he even want my coins plus ezylink and cashcard. Anything got values, he just took it. Luckily I got back my Ic and driving license, which bring down the total loss to $700 instead of $1100 initially.


Well just hope after my 30th birthday, everything will be a good start for me!


Cheers,
Joe Sim

away from home...

Just a little updates..

I will be away from home from 9th Sept 10 to 25th Sept 10 for a period of 17 days.
Currently still waiting for my Boss to approve my leave.

Hope he is able to release me from this busy work schedule to allow me to take a break.

Pray :)

Cheers,
Joe