o0rhinojoe0o

my COMPASS

2011-05-17T10:31:00.005+08:00

haha looking through my blog's writing in the past, i can feel that i behaved like a kid. Oh my goodness, my English 's so horrible, so many mistakes after going through it. Anyway i already got a plan, i will be attending an English class in the British Council at the end of this year. Guess my friend, Mr Quek has been grumbling a lot that it is important something need to be done to my English. At the meantime i am looking for a job that allow me as a fresh grad. to step into this new field, supply chain management. It will be a hard time for me to get this job because of my age. I really need to impress them and let them know what i can really do and provide for the company during the interview. For the time being, most of my concentration will be hunting for jobs.

Last week i also announced to this group of close friends, i am considered of leaving. I do not want to spend too much time doing this friends 'bonding'. I am not sure do they appreciate it, all the while i have been telling them a gathering is a must, at least once in every two weeks. I want everyone to be together like a family, giving that closeness, care and concern. At the same time they can update themselves, knowing how are they doing. I do not want them just to be busy with their gfs or bfs only. Come on, in this world it is not only them, there are still friends around. You guys need to give a bit of time for the gathering and i do not know why every outing need to be outside drinking. We can meet up like cycling, prawning, hiking etc. This kind of gathering is much more healthy and meaningful. Hope you guys can really think about it and come out this kind of outing in the future. I will not be totally leaving you guys but not to give 100% attendance anymore. I will be spending this extra time to do well with my family bonding and also to improve my skill and knowledge for the future uses.

Later part i will be writing more about my love.

Wish me more and more luck on this Bunny Year!!

2011-02-16T17:47:00.004+08:00

Happy Bunny New Year to everyone!

Seriously i do not know how to start.
Away from here for such a long time, sometimes i am staring at my blog, wondering how to write although there are many things running in my mind.
I want to share it with you all, well most important is i am still fine, a happy lad :)

Understanding my parent 's age is getting older.
I feel at all times i should take care of them with even more care and concern.
Thoughout all these years, i feel i spent too much time outside with my friends solving their problem, yet i realised i spent too little time with my parent.
Sorry everyone, hope you guys understood i reshuffled my time schedule for my parent.
Past few months i brought mum out often, showing her many places that she never go before.
I didnt know she got such a long time never visit to Orchard.
Orchard changed so much that she didnt even know which building they are except Taka.
I brought her to Forever 21 in 313 and told her that all young girls will crazy over here and its the largest with 3th storey high in Singapore.
I spent time helping her to choose design, queueing up the fitting room with so many people looking at us with their weird eyes.
I dont care what they are thinking, i just want to spend my precious time with mum.
haha i didnt expect she brought so many stuffs over there.

Although i know my parent 's style, alway like to comment but wont like to praise..
Even i am doing something good, they will still find something to comment.
I told myself to cool down, they are still my parent and no matter what they are meant good to me.
They taught me all the good things, discipline me.
I am glad to have them and like to thank you to them for what i am now.
No matter what i will try all my best to take care of them all the way.

All the while i didnt know their wishes are to see me graduate and have a gf.
If everything goes successfully, i will graduate this year, June.
Wish me luck on studies!
Although all the time i didnt have luck in getting a gf, i still wish this year i can have a good gf to show it to my parent.
Wish me more and more luck on getting my first gf!!

Jia YOU!!!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

2010-12-25T17:00:00.004+08:00

Yeah its a nice Christmas which i didnt expect it to be in this way.
Very Different.

Went through Jason and Xiuling pre early xmas house party celebration, Marvellous!
I enjoyed max although its simple.
-turkey once again the main problem of cooking and cant finish it.
-finally we met up Peiying and her new bf plus Sianming, (many years didnt see them at all).
-More people this time as both sides of the group mergering together for celebration.
-like being a planner and satisfied on my explanation for the game to go fun and wild!
-brought a good interesting card game, Swap!
too bad didnt got time to try on my taboo and polarbear game.
-Gift exchange which i didnt expect to be from Mark, unique groovy guitars ice cube tray.
-surprise part, extra gift from Jason and Xiuling.
I got a bright yellow notebook, cool!
-Overall great to make new friends.

Another xmas party at the actual eve day which i planned didnt go smoothly as many things did happen at my close friends side.
-Someone passed away at such a young age.
Depression.
Didnt expect to turn out in this way.
Everyone is down.
-Two couples didnt have a good time with each other, spending their day to solve it themselves.
-Cancelled the party.
- In the end it turns out in another way for my celebration.
-Just hope this period everyone is back and together like usual.

Everyone is curious on how come this period i didnt talk much about her, NTU.
Haha i am not angry with her or avoiding her (MIA).
Maybe she thought it is the sat dinner issue but it is not.
I did have a little disappointment when i called her up one of the day, she didnt even respond and reply back.
Can see from there onwards not much news from her.
haha maybe she is running away from me or angry on me.
or maybe busy with her dating (someone whom she is very active in her sms).
I will respect her decision on how she wants it to go, its herself.
I did not think much at all this time and just let my mind be freely run.
Not like last time, i take it very seriously, keep asking around what should i do.
Maybe caused by the REBORN.
-I didnt tell anyone i almost have an accident on 09th Dec 2010.
-I may just go in a sec.
-scary.
-no alcohol at all.
-very tired after work plus late dinner.
-eyes keep closing while driving.
-without realising the car speed keeps increasing from 120km/hr..130..140...
-almost going to bang into another car.
-suddenly applying ebrake thus created such a terrible loud noise and smoke also.
-company van losts control and occupied horizontally along TPE lane 1 and lane 2.
-created such an impact on me, realised something.
-do not know how to describle it.
-just say its a Reborn.

I am thinking of giving a thought on trying out charity works.
Heard from Jason and Xiuling mentioned Ry know about it, may wants to find it out more from her and do something meaningful.
Firstly need to check out on the schedule of their duties and from then work it out on my timing to fix it well and smoothly.

I received a call from Uncle, it was not a good call.
Maybe i will talk it more on the next bloging.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Such a disappointment!!!

2010-12-07T22:02:00.006+08:00

i failed my exam!
didnt know it came out so fast on the sunday.

My mood already not there when i know i didnt do well for my presentation.
To make thing more worst, exam result released out in the night.
How will a normal person take it such a blow at the same time.
Spending so much time on doing my presentation, even given up my long waited marathon yet received such a disappointment.

When this time round i am looking up for my good friends for listening ear, no one is there.
All never pick up my call on sunday.
i cant believe it.
are you guys playing fun on me or is it gods you?
even ask them out, no one can make it on any day.
do u guys believe it, so coincidence.
all of them push it on coming sunday.

am i asking too much?
or am i still behave like a baby, need many attention?
why cant i behave like some of my guy friends, simply dont care anything.

feel like giving up hope on friends and be myself alone.
Yes i know everyone is busy but somehow should be able to spare a little time when a friend there need accompany.
does anyone know recently i just realised something, a secret.
all these years since poly, i didnt know my such guy friend cheated on me again and again.
why he needs to do that, he really do not know how to treasure friendship but just to make use of people.
seeing him hurting on me when i put so much time and hope on friends, yet i got this kind of result.

anyway forget it, i just go out on my own this week.
do my hiking, take a seabreeze or whatever.
have my dinner with my ye ye and forget it, no need to make myself so hard to make an appointment with friends.

is it a depression?

2010-11-23T22:07:00.002+08:00

sorry Quek, i didnt keep my promise.
I did something wrong in one of the day.
It was not a good day for me, feel hurt in my heart.
And i went to touch the cigarette and its a chain of smoke.
How silly i am.
I know i should not, but somehow i do not know why.
Why am i alway so weak and easy get hurt?

Whatever the answer is, i need to respect her decision.
I didnt talk much or pester on her on that day.
I didnt even tell her i didnt accept the girl that confess her love to me long ago.
Do not know what happened, my heart is still vibrating.
I am very scare of depression, not sure does anyone knows.
Anyway i still accept her as my friend, this is the path i chosen myself.
I do not want to leave her and gone like most guys did.
Well at the same time i am finding solution to cure myself and i think i got a way now.

No matter what, after that day i still need to follow on my agreement and also do not touch the cigarette again.
and for this one whole year not to fall in love with anyone.

these few days my head is getting pain, not sure is it the hangover i got or think too much on friends issues. Some misunderstanding and i feel i lost some impt friends.
Pls forgive me, i am also suffering depression at the moment.
I need you friends around.

tomorrow is a day i will be going sgh to see my doctor for the overall result.
Ater a series of tests, the final report is ready to release to me tmr.
Pray for positive result!

17th november

2010-11-16T00:54:00.005+08:00

its 17th nov again..
time flies so fast..
4yrs already since 2007..

maybe to another people, its just another day to them.
but to me its not.
its a special and meaningful day to me.
Alway cant wait for it to come but somehow hope it pauses at that moment.

an agreement i need to fulfill

2010-11-14T04:00:00.003+08:00

i know its a tough life but its good for me.
i need to thank you Quek for giving me this chance and spending time doing the explaination.
he is giving me a clear mind of what i want.
i signed the agreement, promised not to commit any of the terms listed.
saying i will be kicking away those bad habits.
Everything will be up to me whether i got that determination to do it.
Thank you for giving me this chance to turn into a new leaf.
i will not disppoint everyone.
Promise

work hard

Troubled with something...

2010-11-06T02:31:00.007+08:00

cant get to sleep..
feel troubled, but this time around its not about love stuff.
much more serious stuff comparing to it.
how i wish there is a listening ear now.
really do not want to share it with my parents as they already got other issues to worry.
how i wish you friends are around to support, accompany me.
thats why when i mentioned in my previous blog text, i need you friends around.

just a silly mistake i committed.
till now then i realised the problem.
why am i so careless, need a wall to bang into it.

haiz...
my mood always coincide with the raining weather.
whenever i am down or moody, without fail, it will rain on the day.
Guess these few days can see the result very well.

i know i should not waste my time on blog writing
but i feel at least my, this friend is alway here to hear my grumbling, listen to it attentively.
I still need this friend to be around.
I want to change into a new leaf.
Proof to everyone i can discipline myself and protrait the real me.
And also i am firm to stop the bad habits i have now, not good for me and my future.
I feel that is not what i am now, i want to be back to myself where i am more comfortable with.
over the weeks, you guys may not use to it but hope you guys understand.

Really feel everyone is not there

2010-10-31T17:21:00.005+08:00

to me friends are important.
Loanshark also let me realised it when that time i almost going to give up hope.

I really feel everyone is not there, together.
whenever comes to an important day, i am sure someone is going to be missing.
It is hard for everyone to be here together.
I thought this kind of day is good for catching up, updates.
Feel disappointed.
I rather everyday is just a normal day to me, do not want any holiday at all.
whats wrong couples cannot meet up together?
Busy is really the main reason?

maybe i need to give myself a tight slap, why bother to spend so much time on friends issues when my important stuffs didnt really go and do.
Xiuling and Jason will be disappointed when i didnt focus on my objective again.

Loanshark's message

2010-10-13T14:49:00.003+08:00

I received many of my birthday regards but among the rest, one of them did bring me out laughter.
Her message was simple but in a way did cheer me up at the right time. I cant imagine my actual birthday was in the jungle fighting hard with those mozzies and missions. Haha i thought i was cutting cake at that time.

"Shushu! Happy 30th birthday! I bet u must be bored in camp!
Dont worry when u are out, must get u a big present and celebrate for u!
Dont worry although u are 30 u are still the most trendy shushu! :D "

Thanks Loanshark!
Wish u and your bf are doing well :)

Cheers,
ShuShu

Short message to say i am doing fine

2010-10-13T14:36:00.004+08:00

Guys, im doing fine, no worries. Not actually mia but just too many things running at this period. I am busy preparing for exams and also running very tight on my work. Giving alot of attention and wanted to do an excellent job for my company. I did spend many late nights for work, even Sat and Sun. Hope you guys believe i am not avoiding anyone. I wont have much time on msn or meet up but after Nov, i will be quite free, hope to see everyone soon. There are Many updates wanna share with you guys.

Seeya Nov, guys!!

Cheers,
Joe

My 30th Happy Birthday, Joe!!

2010-09-29T13:10:00.004+08:00

23 sept 2010 my Birthday

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the well wishes from various communciation channels (phone call, sms, email, fb and etc). ;> Thank u for the gifts and treats too which came earlier or later. ;> Am blessed and fortunate.

Cheers,

Joe Sim

Bad Luck period will be over soon....

2010-08-26T09:18:00.001+08:00

Wondering when my fever will go away, torturing me since sat. After customer had signed the contract, my new project has started. RAJA, a beautiful name given to my project. Everyone hopes to have a good start, and this project will last another 2-3years. My goodness, it is another long period again. Usually for my company‘s project, each one will take min 2 years to complete. If anyone ask you how many projects you did, from there they know how to calculate how many years you are working in the company.

Well Boss approved my leave in September; currently I left next week to rush for all the critical works. My intention is to hand in beautifully to another “temporary in” person to help me. Because it is my project, I do not want it to be mess up when I am back.

With the fever around, it is like torturing me these few days especially when I am working late. Furthermore this week got class and I need to rush for some assignments to hand in. Currently what I really need is TIME. My people thought I will choose REST but nope. I am okay to do all these things, because the interest is there. Just that I do not want to rush like hell, I prefer to do thing in my style, systematic way.

There are many things to grumble for my work, no point saying out. Make it short, I am facing some critical issues to rush through during this short period before I am away. Along the way, some people really did not do a nice job and handed their part to me, expecting me to complete in a shorter time for them. Although I am running this project and I am the so call “the central person”, but does not mean to take for granted, expect me to check everything is it correct and move to another level. Very time consuming if at any point or level, anyone did not do a nice job, everything will go back to “square one”.

Next worries will be our school group projects, need to ask everyone out soon to discuss. I want to make sure everyone knows their part to do and complete it when I come back.

Yeah I received back my stolen wallet from the Police on Monday. Beside the money, all cards are intact. This pickpocket is really greedy. Stolen my company prizes of $300, he even want my coins plus ezylink and cashcard. Anything got values, he just took it. Luckily I got back my Ic and driving license, which bring down the total loss to $700 instead of $1100 initially.

Well just hope after my 30th birthday, everything will be a good start for me!

Cheers,
Joe Sim

away from home...

2010-08-14T13:50:00.003+08:00

Just a little updates..

I will be away from home from 9th Sept 10 to 25th Sept 10 for a period of 17 days.
Currently still waiting for my Boss to approve my leave.

Hope he is able to release me from this busy work schedule to allow me to take a break.

Pray :)

Cheers,
Joe

updates after e op...

2010-07-22T07:31:00.008+08:00

Day Six...

after e op..

work..

im quite satisfied with my work done. Giving out more than 100% to clear up whatever outstanding stuffs.
i even went in to Boss's room to have a chat, asking him if there is any room for my improvement. He was stunned in the first place but its a good experience to hear his view on me.
i feel after i have promoted, more responsibility have to be there.
Need to be more independent, helping up on those juniors.
The standard requirement of a senior need to be there.

studies..

i having an exam on coming sunday. Currently still busy preparing.
But i can say i am about to get sick soon, today my flu is getting worse.
Maybe not enough sleep ba, its like every day studying up to 2am, sometimes even till 3am.
Guess even a robot also will go down.

parents..

they are doing fine.
Mum wanted to change my room structure, everything.
She wanted to give me a much more cosy place to study comparing to now.
I stunned when the designer came down that day, i thought mum was just kidding.
Heard everything going to cost ard 5k, and i surely do not want her to fork out that money.
Its her hard earn money.
Hee guess i going to eat lesser this period to save more.

friends..

everyone is doing fine.
feel happy for you guys.
keep it up!

I did not know i will be out that day,
thanks jason and xiuling, its a pleasant outing.
I enjoyed the KTV and also the dinner.
I heard from birdie telling me something.. haha its a matchmaking day right?
Okay she sang well, esp on those korean songs, i am quite impressed.
yeah a happy go lucky girl.
And he told me, she is going to complete her PHD soon.
i never hear wrongly, PHD right?
how did she do that at such a young age?
Does Birdie say anything for himself?

Day of the message:: If you dont have a plan for where you want to go, how do you know if you are lost?

End of writing.

cheers
joe

Just a change on me

2010-07-19T00:01:00.005+08:00

Everything went fine, currently have to wait for the report to be out in 18th of August.
I feel somehow there is a change on me after this op, like i just woke up on something.

Chatted up again with my friend, Darren, we discussed on the next 5 years what things will happen. There is many important stuffs waiting for us to do.
Building up a family, getting a flat need alot of thinking.
Need to have a proper planning.
We always have this thinking, spending is easy, saving is hard.
We must save even more for raining days.

My age now is the crucial time to pay more attention rather than at age 35 then start to think.

Result was out last week.
I did not do well for the last paper, feel disappointed getting a C grade.
I want to spend more time on my studying to pull up for better grades on the next few modules.
Thinking i may not be free at all times now for everyone.
Hope you guys can understand.

Day of the Message:: Drink more water, rest more.

End of Writing.

Regards,
Joe

a night of thinking...

2010-07-13T05:20:00.006+08:00

Stress can create cancer..
really not sure if there is anything growing in it.
I do hope it is a false alarm.

each day when i get to know the result is going to come out soon, my whole mind keeps thinking alot.
i am trying to take thing easily, but do not know why my whole body do not permitted.

again 5am, i still cant get to sleep, my sleeping cycle is off again.
i keep thinking alot of things..work..studies..friends...and ntu..

yesterday met up with darren, i did not know why i got such a serious talk with him about my life.
He also believe its not me myself esp this period.
I told him i am giving a thought of leaving everyone..
maybe to him, he is thinking i am kidding with him.
i just do not want to involve in anything, helping in anything, do not want to be in anywhere!!
Look at the time, i am not sure did i wasted or not..
i do not know how to describe my feeling nw.
and exam is coming soon, two more weeks..

Recently i need to search one of her sms and went through every single of her sms that i have kept for these yrs.
reading on every sms, telling me about what we have went through, what i have did and giving out my best to help her.
almost coming to 3 yrs of waiting... 17-11-07...
hw i wish we can get to know each other in the beginning again.
a fresh new start like last time, where almost everyday we get to chat on phone, share all the things she is doing.

I know its impossible now for this start. To her, i should really thank her, all the while she is doing her homework well for not being MIA, something which i told her. But to me, i disappointed her again and again for not doing my homework well.

Recently we met and did not know why we discussed this topic again.
I told her i still like her, cannot be stopped.
But i will do my homework well this time regardless what she did. Cos i always think too much, thinking isit she is doing it for me.
Well i have stated in the previous blog message, i treasure her such a good friend here, do not want to lose her anymore.
Whenever my feeling is too close to her, i will just do my homework well myself.
I just do not want to lose such a friend again.

Anyway i keep thinking,what can i give it to her.
Look at me now, its like everything not proper done yet.
I still need a few yrs to get my career on track with my studies completed.
By the time her age, she should have married.
Normally girls married around the right time at age 24-27.
Time does tell something.
I feel she can find much better, stable guy comparing to me.

Recently also heard from her, got guys going after her.
And whenever we go out, i also got noticed she is busy on sms-ing.
I think she has found a guy she likes.
If not she wont ask me this qns: will u still ask me out, if i got a bf.
Well i told myself i should feel happy for her and i should try not to disturb her 'honey period' too much.

Being a guy, i should concentrate on my career.
Let love relationship stuff put it the least priority ba,
and let my career and studies be the first priority from now onwards..
Must to--
I believe my focus abit off the track recently.

Well haiz guess this year my birthday going to be a lonely special year of 30 again.
Single...single...and... still single.... for 30yrs... :(

Joe
13-07-10
6.54am

16th July gng in.....

2010-07-11T11:35:00.002+08:00

well 16th july 2010 i will be going in sgh for my gastroscopy operation. At the same time i get to know my new blood test result before the op. To everyone is like a normal and fun friday, but no people will know at another corner still got people around suffering the pain. It will start at 4pm, a timing which i borned out. Will be in coma again. I hate this feeling, cos whenever i wake up, i really do not know where am i, am i in the real place? I am not sure whether do i need to stay in, see how it goes.
Although its a minor op but i think i am much worried is the result. As stated previously in my blog, doc already asked me to get prepare, stand by. Hopefully its not what the doc's prediction.

During this period, i've been doing many researchs on dyspepsia illness. I do not know why i keep seeing the word, cancer. Is it really true it is linked together? Can it dont be!
I have to face the fact if the result turns out like this. I have grown up already, gotta be brave to face everything. Maybe it is fate ba. Currently i trying to stay firm and calm, putting cheerful smiles around to everyone. Do not want anyone to know and worried about me, especially my parent. They will be super upset and cannot take it if they know.
I havnt told anyone including my family. They are getting old, do not want them to get worried.

Guess it is the same as 4 years back, an operation which i went through alone. It is like very scary when sitting alone at the seat waiting for my turn to go in. These few days it is like no mood to work and to study, but i still trying to give my best to do it.
Stress and feel alone.

a-l-o-n-e
isnt nice feeling..

Best regards,
Joe Sim

its my mind that change..

2010-06-25T01:36:00.003+08:00

Actually things didnt change, its the mind that change. Maybe i have grown up, the things that i look will be differently, at different angle that i want.

Seeing my age coming to 30 soon, i am seriously worried about my career and my family. They are getting old and i know my current job has reached a peak, i told myself i want to keep on processing myself up. I want to earn even more to give myself,my future wife and my parents a better life.

I do not want people seeing me like playing around, having fun but actually they did not understand me well. I am working very hard now improving my current states. I am serious on my career advancement, i really do not want to be an useless guy sitting there only.
There is no need to explain to anyone who is still thinking i am still playing around. Let them be, well my side i just know what i am doing will do.

a month ago, i met a son of his mother at a guan yin's temple nearby. I do not know her but we are like very 'click-ed', chatted alot about life. She is worried about his son about his safely, every night cannot sleep well. His son 's interest is in bikes, from a small one changed to a bigger one. The speed limit increases. Every time his mum will not sleep first until she see him back home safely. From there, it linked my mind to something.

I feel that we must treasure our life and also do not let people around us worried.
Well everyone sure got thing to regret doing or not doing but tell yourself our life can only live once, must learn to forgive and forget,live happily to max!
And i also try to be home often, i do not want my mum also worried about me.

Well over this period, i did not share much with anyone about my worries. I feel the situation i should solve it by myself. I have grown up, time to be independent, thinking what is right for me. I should be the one doing the decision.

Joe
25th June 2010
241am end.

a message for loanshark...

2010-06-19T12:51:00.004+08:00

10th june 2010 thursday

Loanshark,

still remember i told you about the little nus, which this nickname was given by you.

I finally saw her.

But not i dated her out.

Did not know the world is so small, i saw her at ps when i was doing for my graphic papers shopping.

Quite amazing i can know who is her from far.
Shu Shu really good at recognise people hor ;)

Thinking back, actually i wont have this chance to see her.
at some point i still hesitate of going ps to do shopping alone.
So at the right time, right angle and right position, i saw her.

She looked elegant.
Shu Shu still cannot make it, ultimate shy, i did not approach her and say hi.
Haha i think you can ask me to knock against a wall.

She fly off already on 15th June 2010 Tuesday, summer break at united states.
Wondering how long will she be back?

wish her have a good trip and have fun there.

Cheers,
Joe

Finally im back :)

2010-06-05T14:22:00.003+08:00

HiHi i am back, wow i didnt know i have been MIA for such a long time..

hee finally settled everything and i feel glad to be here writing..

during that period, there is some up and down.
Well everything i have put aside and turn in to a new direction,
my main aim now is cherish friends around.
these two months, i got back almost all the friends that never contact for long.
Didnt know so much changes on them.
Yeah it is true, friends around built u up.
I need you all.

well after some time of missing out, i do not think there are people here reading my blog now.
Maybe only those loyal fans of mine will read up ba..
hee can a show of hand who is still reading it?
wish to know...

today i wrote up a total of 3 blogs together.
firstly is my intro.
secondly impt is my health and checkup.
followed by getting an impt friend back.

cheers,
joe

my checkup

2010-06-05T13:52:00.004+08:00

3th june 2010,

i finally went in sgh to do my medical checkup and consultation.

Spending the day doing a new full blood test, gotta wait for the report to be out first before i can proceed on the scope operation.

i have fixed a much nearer date, 16th july 2010 to have the scope check.

Thank you very much for all my good friends wishes, regards and accompany.
i feel touched but do not know why in somehow i feel very down also.

actually i missed a part which i didnt tell anyone of you.
do not want anyone to know and worried about me.
the doctor actually asked me to be prepare, maybe its due to family medical history.
and i think i know what she is hinting at...

I really do not want this to be happen.

I keep telling myself everything will be fine on me, such a good lad wont have that illness one.
I gotta put a smiling face on it okie

pray me healthy alwayz

joe :)

Happy Birthday to YOU :)

2010-06-05T13:21:00.006+08:00

i thought i wont be meeting her again.

and i feel grateful to celebrate her birthday this year.

wishing her everyday happy and healthy alwayz..

i feel much better now.

thank you her for giving me this chance to meet.

i know i expressed wrongly that time, actually i didnt mean it in that way.

hope she understand it.

sorry, i really do not have the courage to tell her.

Really want to treasure this time, she is really a good friend to me.

I do not want to lose her anymore.

sincerely,

Joe

my Best Shot! Bang.. Bang..

2010-01-13T00:47:00.007+08:00

Dear Granny,

5 more days to go..

Management of Organisations will be my first paper.

I will give it my Best!

After giving myself a little short break during the weekend, attended my good friend, ivy’s birthday! Time to let my mind to get back to study again.

I felt this break is necessary for me, thanks Ivy and Darren!
Recently went back Chinatown a few times, esp. mohd ali lane again. Didn’t know Ivy intro us her homeground dishes, si chuan at a Chinese restaurant, gu xiang in smith street. Hee Chinatown again. She is quite a good host, telling us a lot about the dishes names. The warm feeling brings us back to hometown, ‘jia xiang’, having dinner with our families. One thing I realized every dishes contain a lot of oil and its really spicy..hot hot..
Got one dish whereby u gets to see green chilies cut into slices and mixed with oil. Oh is this consider as a dish..? so Unique and overall I give a thumb up, Yummy!

We have a little chill out later, fun with many shots and lychee martinis filled the whole table. And it’s a special day with someone on hen night. Very funny and creative that the sisters bring her around to get along with all those guys, and we can see she is very shy with her pinky rabbit’s marriage costumer. And one sa bo method was to let her go around to have a kiss with anyone, and she will get $10 per person. Haha funny idea right? Well not a bad catch, she raised $380 for it. Hee it’s a fun night after such a long time staying back for studies.

Am I dreaming again?

Granny, I am still not feeling well. Can see my stress level did not control properly and not to let too many people worry, I show it to everyone that I am perfectly okay. To my surprise, I got myself a deep cut on my left eye a few days ago. Blood keep flowing throughout the whole night.
It was happened inside a dream first. I remembered I was running toward my graduation group photo taking . Seeing my best seat going to be taken by someone, I increased my speed and “ BONG”, I banged myself into a wall. Sleeprunning!!? Oh my goodness, I fainted. When I woke up in the morning, realized i got a cut. Haha.. was so funny that I can run in the reality world when I am actually inside the dream.

These few days, thank you very much to my colleagues. They did a lot of help for me, especially my report.
We can stay till nearly 2am and helping me without any condition. Thanks Calvin and the rest!

Till today I received a lot of my friends, colleagues of their regards and their best wishes. They all wanted me to do well on my papers. Oops pressure pressure.. cannot let them down. I will give my best shot!

Today before I left for a super long leave, I received an amazing present, super late Christmas gift and a card. I found the card very meaningful; he realized I changed this period. With all the time I have been keep saying I will change. Just need abit of time, and I proved it to everyone. Feeling very touched and warmed.. I will still keep up the good work!

Jia You!

Joe Sim

a brand new year, 2010

2010-01-03T13:20:00.003+08:00

Dear Granny,

It is a year of 2010 now.
Didn’t know time files so fast, when that time I was 20 doing a countdown for a special year of 2000. I still remembered Singapore aimed to get into the world cup. But from all these years, it is like still far from achievement. World cup is coming soon, do hope my favorite country, England win it.

Many things I will like to share with you, just like we used to chat, sitting along the canal pathway with your nice cardboards on our butts. Funny thing is we keep looking at the opposite side, whereby the Japanese having their wine at the jap. Restaurant, while we were having our Chinese tea. I missed those days. All these while I am doing fine with exam are coming soon. There will be two papers on the 17th and 24th of January. After 1.5 yrs of resting, it will be my first major paper to sit for it. I looking toward to challenge it but currently I am quite worried about the time. Counting down, it is like 14 more days left. When I need more time, there is a problem on my sleeping. This period I tend to sleep more and more. I am wondering why I cannot be last time, sleep only 4hrs a day. Is it old people tend to sleep more? But I did ask around, hearing people do say in the opposite way. Mum told me maybe my body is tired, need more rest. I started to drink bitter coffee now to keep myself awake and also with lots of mum given pills. Sometimes I am wondering am I sick, why I have to take so many pills? Haha.. Currently I am afraid one of my module, Economics. It is totally new to me, but I find it interesting comparing to engineering which I studied before. It provides me with many knowledge of knowing what is happening outside the world and I will like to know more. But the pace of my degree is too fast, without much time for me to explore. Hopefully next time when I am free, I will like to find out more.

It is a beautiful Sunday today. Sitting inside the library, I can see the warmth and soothing sun smiling at me outside the window panel. I started to like our national library, a good place which I want to visit more often. Nowadays my colleagues still find it hard to believe I am studying whenever I am free , they thought I will be inside somewhere chilling out, more on clubbing. But I wondering why they cannot really understand me more without listening to people anyhow spread the rumor. I hate people without evidence and anyhow say a person. I strongly believe it will hurt a person or his image badly. I admit I did club a lot when I first started out on my age 25. But everything is a past now, I seriously find it useless to spend time there clearing my emo. Well I feel too tired to explain to anyone and decided to focus just on my things. I believe one or these days, they will understand. Guess only close friends will know what is happening around me recently. Ever since you left, i will never want to spend the time wrongly and regret in the end.

Spending long hrs in the library, I started to build friends around with the librarians, especially level 8-business floor. One of them said life is so much different now, our living standard. I did not know their paid is so little and have to work for long hrs- 12hrs+1hrs. They wanted me to study hard and achieve it well on my career. Both of us also agreed that Chinese tend to give birth to one or two child nowadays, whereby Malays will be different, like to give birth more. She told me last time some Malays can give out up to 20 children per family. Oh my goodness, I wondered how the family will survive if it is now. She is a kind easy going person. Normally when I am stress, will go and find her for a little chat. Oh she even told me the management in the library is horrible. You know what; the drinking cooler at the basement level is spoilt. Till now they have not change the filter. Oh it can cause serious problem for the people that drink it. So scary!

Miss you very much.
I promised I still stick closely to my resolution for this year. I want to be a better man.

Once again please protect me, wish me luck on whatever I am doing.

Cheers,
Joe

For you, Daddy!

2009-12-16T12:41:00.003+08:00

Granny,

dont know what to say.. so stresss-ed..
feel im abit off track at sometimes.
esp yesterday..
recently was doing fine, and getting stronger.
But something happened and caused my whole mind kanna'virus attacked'.

shit...my whole body cannot control my mind.
Whats wrong with me?
Wondering how's the rest of my classmates doing, guess im far apart from them now.
Although i started out the race first, but half way, i think i being blocked by some 'obstacles'.
I am very scare i will lose out the race and worst case even out of it.

I keep telling myself, i know my character, joe is not easily beaten.
Must Jia you!!

My mum quite worried abt me, recently i can see i being asked to eat 24 tablets each day.
Its to maintain a balance of myself.

This jan exam papers going be very important for me and everyone is looking onto it.
It determines my path.
There's a certain high level of stress and i cannot allow to fail.

This is a degree level and expectations are high. It requires us more on thinking and understanding.
Which is different from the diploma level.
So i need to apply different method of coping well on the exams.

funny part which i just realised, my colleagues can even open up side betting on my papers.
1st class- 1 pay 1000.
2nd upper and lower honour rate- 1 pay 100.
Fail rate- 1 pay 0.5.

hee guess most of them buy which part...,
i fainted...

Yesterday shldnt ve let them see im weak, moody.
But i cant control esp after i come back from lunch.
Things happened, nothing can change. Everything 's too late.

Drive very fast to another school, MDIS in the night and realised the people over there,comparing to my school kaplan, its so different. It brings me back to my poly days.

I need to get more info on understanding the economics. Hopefully i dont fall asleep again in e library carpet floor which those books on the shelves smiling at me..

nowadays i can sleep anywhere at anytime. Oh no really uncle joe liao..

I met up auntie cindy, she told me about my daddy story.
Ways back to when they are 18 yrs old.
Did not know he did so much for us, this family.
i am trying to control my feeling.

Granny, if you are there, please help me and give me this extra strength,i want to do well this paper for him.

For you, Daddy!

Regards,
Junwen

a shooting star

2009-12-12T12:53:00.005+08:00

12-12-09 1253pm sunny day

a nice weather today with my feeling similar to the weather. If one day, you get to see outside your window is raining, then you will know someone outside there is feeling emo.. haha..

Well not really in that thinking now as years goes on. My age does allow me to get stronger, seeing through many things, experience it. Many people see me grown up, learnt things and i know how to take care myself and also everyone beside.

Recently a colleague sent me this link,
-talk to me or icecream-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-DWnGSn_jo

Do not understand what it means. Is he refering to me not to be sad over my daddy stuff?
What i know is the icecream i want to eat lol yummy ;p
Anyway thanks, its a nice song!

impt message/sentence below-- Do not always look at peoples'outside, go and understand more deeply. Everyone has their own moments that they feel weak. Like my granny said, you have grown up, no longer like a kid, must know how to see and understand clearly on people.

""
Cat- December 12 2009
i so totally agree with u.. for me i'll juz emo.. if u reli dun want pple read den u vent it out as a draft and read for urself.. i oso always emo 1 hahax.. best way to deal wif emoness is to do tings tt make u happy.. mayb u too stress ler...for me i oso dun wan pple to take me as weak.. so wad i do is i post it but inside the post i will say its my own tots, and feelings.. not tt i am weak.. even if i am weak, i believe everyone has their own moments tt they feel weak.. nothing to be ashame abt... tts why i juz let it be, heck care wad pple say =D ""

Another true story to share- a girl who is different from me... not in sex la...hmm what i mean is the life we are having. Her stress level is much higher than me, her emotional level is far away from me. Her father got cancer. She have to support her poor family, at night still need to rush for school. Sometimes at work still kanna scolded by boss. She did not have the time to have fun and even sit down for a coffee. She missed out all the fun during her teen age, 20-26. So stressful that she cry out in a corner. A Real bitter cry at a side but she still show her laughter, smiles to her Dad.
Her Dad passed away recently. She feel its a release, no regret. At least she has done her best, spending time and concern to let her Dad live comfortly during his days.

After hearing this story, any comment from you guys?
Hope you guys understand it, its meaningful..

Hope my wishes come true after i saw a shooting star yesterday. It travelled at a fast speed, at the right time for me to see it.

Smiles,
Joe

Joy Joe

2009-12-09T23:08:00.005+08:00

pictures for the sc marathon run -09 are out. Did not know where are those camera actual locations, but managed to get a good pose. Luckily did not see my 'struggling' face.

updates: managed to finish a work report today, it really took me two mths to complete.

but need to see whether the feedback's good.

First time to get off work early, on the dot. Good to have plenty of time in the night to do my school assignments. I chosen not to do it at home because of certain reason, well i did it at the swimming pool again. Wow i missed my pool so much. Quite a quiet place to let my mind focus well on my studies. Decided to visit it often, comparing to macdonald... abit noisy plus the 'yummy' smell.. haha..

smiles,

joe

thought in the night

2009-12-09T02:40:00.009+08:00

09-12-2009 0241hrs

What is inside joe's mind now?

did not know there are so many things happened during this short period.
this kind of thing is not everyone will like to have it.
Joe got no choice but to face it.
Joe keeps his mind running at all time.
hopefully he is able to come out with a better solution or ways to solve it.
Facing strong and handle each problem individually.

He thought he can focus well on his studies yet recently another matter hit on him again.
Wrongly blamed hurt his pride much to a deep low end.
Before we know him, he is on a high, anticipation morale, ready to give a new challenge on his studies.
But all things changed around him at this time.

During his marathon run on that day, many things were running on his mind instead of his feet doing the job.
What he knows about his feet is getting heavier.
Without saying, the pain is also increasing.
He is not blaming on anything, he feel this is what god ve already planned for him, a Joe's route. Everyone got different kinds of route.
Well joe's route is tough, he feel that this marathon run shows how strong of him finishing up the race by himself which determine how well he cope with the obstacles in his route.

did not know his boss M.C approached him yesterday and granted him more leave days so as to accompany his Dad.
So sweet of his boss but Joe rejected the offer because he knows he cannot accept his offer like that.........
I can feel Joe have decided on certain things after some self reflection...............

i did it for you, Daddy!

2009-12-06T20:57:00.003+08:00

a nice weather today with the right feeling going into this race. its a marathon run thats different from all the runs that i had attended.

i thought i will give up half way due to my knee pain. Mum also told me not to run but i told myself to God, i must complete it. I did it for my Daddy, no matter how much pain i go through. Please help me to let Daddy recover soon. His illness is getting worse, im worried..

running to company-school-hospital

2009-12-03T17:00:00.009+08:00

Dad is in hospital again.

sad thing is i do not know anything until i received a phone call from the nurse during my night class.

still the same, he does not want me to worry about him and keep everything silent.
He knows i am busy, he does not want to disturb me. But he did not know i will be more tired if i have to find out more by myself.

Communication is impt, must keep flowing..

Well do not know why he has to do that.

Can you imagine what the nurse said to me, "oh you do not know your dad is here? "

me speechless.....

Daddy, do you know what will they think of me...

you know i willing to do anything for you, but sometimes you do not want me to help, and it seriously can create a hurt impact on me.

Everyday running to company.... to school... to hospital...

im not sure when is my body going to be down...

But my mind is still staying very strong which is different from last time..

well not sure this sunday marathon am i able to perform well?

something running on my mind

2009-11-27T14:33:00.003+08:00

actually in this world everyone got their own unhappiness or things that they are troubled.
They normally like to keep it to themselves.Why do they need to do it in a different way to show them they are okay but in fact they are not.
Do you think drinking will really let you forget everything?
Do you think to keep yourself busy will let you forget also?
Do you think sitting along the beach looking at e waves will let you forget too?
There is really no correct answer for it..
If you feel like giving it a cry out, can you dont put a smile on it.
why must you show it to others that you are strong outside in fact you are not.
everyone sure got their weakness.
I thought i am the one weaker in this area, yet i realised in this world, i am not the one.
Cry is an purity element i saw till today, inside consist of so many feelings...can be happy, sad, touch..
Cry is the relieve of energy and emotion.
you will have that very different feeling when you see e people cry.
especially the tear that come out from the eyes.
well everyone has grown up, you know the way of what to do.
a fall, must know how to climb up
a loss, must know how to recover back
a break, must know how to paste back
a stress-ed, must know how to desserts back
make more friends, and you surely know the feeling of having friends around.
can together eat meal, can together chatting
although i do not know anything, sometimes give people a laugh at me
but to their laughter, i also feel happy ah
better than dont have any friends right?
Dont have friends is like very lonely and sad.

well above mentioned does not talk about me or anyone, i am okay, everyone is okay.
scare you guys worried about me.
Its just a deep thought running on my mind when i am doing my reading.

Happy Birthday Darren!!

2009-11-25T18:07:00.003+08:00

Finding ways to relieve my stress.
Feeling like increasing/ piling every now and then. Although its quite childish or girlish for a guy to get those finger dolls. But i just dont care. I must do things that i am happy and feel okay with it.
I still dont understand how many things Cyclone has covered under the table which i need to do. I am going to be mad soon. Staying late for work almost everyday since last week. I do not know where to find time to do my school work. Oh no.. Joe gotta be firm, there sure be a way!

Among all the bad news surrounding me this period, finally i got a piece of good news which i got it from yesterday. Someone brought a ring. Oh my goodness!! Nobody will expect who is it. Cannot wait for the big day to come hee..

Okay today going to take a break, putting aside the paper work to give Darren a surprise Birthday Party.
Never regret knowing him, a good bro, always at my side. Although i keep complaining to him teaching me all the funny bad things..oops sorry haha... i still know where i stand. Thank you for your caring and morale support. I grown up and learnt alot.

His party going to be a special one with Ivy and me doing all the planning. No people going to expect what is it. Haha i am sure he will get shock for such a special arrangement.

Darren, better remember this day and my $100 present.

Happy 29th Birthday!

Time to cheer up,

Bye,

Joe

Granny @(Mohd. Ali Lane) with many loves -----'-,-<@

2009-11-22T12:13:00.011+08:00

Mum is leaving today for taiwan.
Hope this trip she can really enjoy max and take a good break. I am quite pity for her as she suffered alot for this family. Recently i feel my brother is unreasonable, torturing her alot. This issue caused me very headache solving it and with many other issues also coming out concurrently, i feel my whole self become 'Chen Zhong' and not so hyper like last time. Bearing many loads and responsibilities.

Happened to go to ikea yesterday and got myself these cute finger softtoys (animal dolls). I given every dolls a name of my best friends. Feeling whenever i am stress-d or trouble-d, will get to talk to them with my finger controlling their active movement.
Hee another easy way of relaxing my mind, and at all times feeling my friends are there for me (24hrs standby).

I given a name to this special doll called Granny, e lion.
Lion represents the characteristic of strong, firm and independent. I feel proud to know Granny. She can be a person that can live herself well in such an environment by herself alone. With her pride, she will not want anyone to help her and also firm on her thinking. She taught me alot during this short period esp. given me a strong mind to live well.

I understood e good and bad plus the black and white.

She also said growing up living in a difficult environment helped teach the person the secrets of being a successful person. She wanted me to have a practical psychological education into the minds of people, not often that a boy of five or six is always living with parents in a little house/kampong. Must learned about tactics and selection from the people talking.

Granny, thanks! I will not disppoint you.
One thing to tell you i quitted one of my bad habit and i am feeling much better now.
Too late to share it with you.

p/s: still believe she always at my side, supporting me.

Love,
Joe Sim

My Resolution for 2010

2009-11-14T13:42:00.005+08:00

Joe sim 's resolution for year 2010,

1. Studying hard to achieve my degree
2. showing a right working attitude in my career
3. improve my fundamental skills
4. change naturally to be a good character

-- be decisive
-- firm
-- strong command and thinking

5. showing more care to my parents

Will not want to bring or cause disappointment to myself, my parents, my surrounding friends and lastly not least my Granny.

Working hard towards my goals!

cheers,
Joe

Air is HEAVY for me?

2009-11-12T22:51:00.004+08:00

Just finished another meeting.

Recently everyone in the company does not feel okay, including me.

Do not understand a striking occurrence of two or more cases happened at one time apparently by mere chance.

You can hear ‘notebook’, this word from everyone’s mouth.

Is it too careless?

I feel bad for my colleagues, the losing case greatly affected their performance and year-long bonus. Don’t think there will be any promotion for them.

Its quite a serious case as the notebook containing many classified and co-confidential documents.

One thing is how can a notebook lost inside the lab which our security is so tight.

All these years there was no such case happened until we moved here, our new home.

Boss YK says, it is not a matter of lost but its that we lost our defence business.

Giving our customer a no trust, how will they let us handle their project next time.

Haiz my works are piling up due to Cyclone has shifted out for another project and my next colleague was on a long leave. Its like every day I am running up and down for two major projects by myself.

My question mark '?' is getting bigger whenever I go through every new chapter of my coursebook.

But its good to see I am sitting down at a corner pushing myself, reading it.

Just need time on this new area.

Sorry guys to keep me accompany for these few nights. I am controlling and will not let my tears down. I am sure Granny does not want to see me like that. Maybe I just need a little time.

Sorry to scare everyone off when talking to you guys so serious. That’s really how I feel now and that’s me!

Still cannot accept the fact that Granny left.

Love,
Joe

心肝寶貝

2009-11-08T16:18:00.004+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7VH1lklZaM&feature=related

Miss ya everyone!!

2009-10-18T12:26:00.002+08:00

Sehedule superpacked esp this week. ie work, school, army, bank, course, gathering, meeting... no time for me to breathe at all.

Haha my planning not perfect this time, putting everything in this period.
Haiz even a deepavali holiday yesterday, i am still at work for a whole day.
I pissed off yesterday on work, where everything coming to an end, i am saving my design of my project onto my hard disk. The transferring process held and all my datas got lost.
Its like the whole day of work had gone to drain.

My life 's so miserable that time, super lost and running out of time. My principle is to hand everything beautifully to my colleague for follow up when i am away. Shit i scare i cannot make it liao. If its not that Cyclops, i wont be suffering like that. So many works wanted me to do first before i am away. I am wondering why cant he help me these two weeks when i am away? Got so many things he need to do meh!?
Everyone, my colleagues can see this period there is a Marvel Super Hero character coming out and its Joe e Spiderman.
Haha think carefully what can a spiderman special power does?
Well last week i am like using alot of that power sia.

Yeah i finished my taiwan itinerary. I feel delighted after i finished quite a full detailed 33pages itinerary. My colleagues quite impressed that next time they want me to accompany them for group oversea trip, can help them plan a solid trip. Alot of them wanted my taiwan itinerary after seeing it.
Haha they actually can get from the website. Cause most of my work come from there, google search, blog search... and a little of work to cut and paste, organise and arrange it to your time sehedule package.

I met with boss jer and talking alot about taiwan trip. Until a time talking about religions, straight from that moment i heard of her sad story which all these years i am figureing, guessing. Now i understood what ve happened to her. Okay its personal, not to share it here. Hope she believe God. Alway remember God is busying at another side helping others who need help e most, then after awhile God will come back to you. Believe it, God will never leave us aside. Telling us must wait patiently, good thing will come soon. Jer smiles okie =)

2 more days to complete my "10 things to accomplish when I am going to taiwan".
Now i am at No. 9) Loyang Da Bo Gong temple, praying for safe trip, yi lun shun feng!

Heard from channel U, Typhoon from the puma series is hitting at taipei on my travelling period. Pray everything will be alright for us.

I ve completed my 7) and 8) recently, i finally brought 10% of my company shares for future use and also improve my insurance policy since i going to reach 30 soon.
I also met up Granny on friday late night telling her that i am studying now, will be less time to see her. But my heart will always rem her. Hope everything is alrite for her during this monsoon period, cos of her sleeping place at the roadside. Hope she dont catch cold easily.

well for 10) , wondering can i do it??

anyway i gonna stop here, i am late for a teachers gathering.
takecare,

Missya everyone!

Joe Sim, Boon..

Heartiest Congratulations!!

2009-10-11T17:24:00.002+08:00

I am delighted i received the letter from the school on friday.
National University of Ireland has accepted me as their student.

Yeah i am now their Bsc36 Cohort intake.
School day time for me again hee..

Realised october is a busy month for me and spending alot too.
Got such a big hole in my pocket, heard from mum i lost $25k, my School fee $20k,
4 wedding ang baos, taiwan trip unknown yet.
Guess i gonna save abit more from next month onwards and also spend less too.

By looking at my course book- Economics Policy & Change, Essentials of Organisational Behaviour.
Hey whats this!?
oh no dont really understand at all??
Better quickly do more research before going to their school.

Gambatte Joe!!

joe is missing??

2009-10-07T23:49:00.003+08:00

Am I running away?
Everyone start to say, joe is missing….? Nope.. I am not on dating okie.
Why no people ever ask a simple qns ie how re you?
Even its, most people will simply reply back, I am fine even he is not.
Well how I wish there is someone that can ask me this qns and more deeply ie what have u been doing lately..?
Well even my close friend did not know what I have been going through.
I really not sure how long can I survive? Do you all ever know that I may transplant my kidney to my father. Guess not a single person knows.

Do you know what am I doing recently?
Guess most people reply is, Oh joe is celebrating his last twenties birthday.
Well answer is not really correct.

Joe is still busy searching on solution beside the need to transplant his kidney...
why all doc can only give this kind of solution? Well joe arranged to meet up another kidney doctor from tan tock seng hospital which recommended by his colleague for some opinions.

Now I am doing a research on a kind of plant called asparagus. Heard from people saying it helps.

I have 14 more days to complete my "10 things to accomplish when I am going to taiwan".
I am at No. 5) registered my Bac of Science(HONs) on supply chain of management.

Which mean if everything go well in Ireland, I may start school after I come back from taiwan.
Haha its like not a single person know I am back to school again, with a very strong mind of doing well this time.
To be in the right state of my mind and super self discipline this time.
Its an intensive program, and I really want my Dad to be at my convocation soon.

After that I thinking of giving another good shot, master since its only a year time frame and depend on that course market.

No 6) advanced baking course going register soon.

Anyway I have a bad day today inside my boss room during my appraisal. Heard from him saying Cyclops did say something bad about me. I wondered why he had to say that to earn him credit or __?
Really hate such people wearing a mask in front of me. Nvm I still show belief in myself, I will prove my boss wrong and show him the evidence of the two things I promised him.
Luckily this time I am not with Cyclops doing the same project again.
Boss said there will be a new person coming in, under me and I am going to train him up to have a good understanding on the overall project.

Haiz my fever is like on and off… so many days already still not fully recovered. Well its not h1n1 or h5n7 lol.. kinda of virus attacked and also i did not have a good rest this period.

How I wish got someone call me now showing me concern or regards.

How I wish…

Thought of the Moment

2009-09-11T03:17:00.015+08:00

My colleague wife's Dad didnt make it on last friday.
Struggled and then..

all the while we have been talking about him and also my Dad.
Cos both of them are having the same type of illness..

I am getting worried now.
Guess its part of our life that we will face this stage.
How i wish i am still in the 1st stage whereby i am in my primary school canteen eating my fishballs.

Haiz..

Wondering my research on asparagus and organic vegetables will help Dad?
checked out with the US national Cancer institute that asparagus is the highest tested food
containing glutathione, which is considered one of the body's most potent anticarcinogens and
antioxidants.

hmmm... hope what they told me its true.

My mood was affected.
But i keep telling myself i need to get my mind back to work.
Must stick close to my previous plan.

Ot-ed.. ot-ed..
Many late nights, hardly can sleep.

Guess nobody knows i am actually facing some internal emo.
Drinking wines these few nights along the swimming pool, hope to get some good sleep later.

Can Cyclops show some concern to me or not?
Always spoilt my early part of my working day.
Do not know why i keep seeing him in office everywhere.
Whenever see him, sure got different funny 'pushing' tasks from him.
ahhhh i need peace!
I really do not like his managing ways on work, so messy.
Heard he is attached out for another project soon, no more in charge of my one.
Hee guess customer complaint.?

Wish this day comes fast.
i want to do my usual planning, to push my project up to another level.

Well good news is i got it, the $2 million deal of my project.
Thanks DSO for supporting me and ST!
And also other colleagues for helping me to get into 2nd in position,
in term of profits for all projects.

Congrats!
But to me, i am not happy with it, do not know why.
Just many thoughts on my mind.
But i know i had been given alot out on work recently.
Well still early to say, there re still many things for me to learn and do.

I had a talk with my manager last week to discuss my future.
It was a casual meeting whereby we can also share our problem.

He told me my spirit must be there.
And ask me to learn from this dance group in the Britain's got talent 2009- Diversity: Dance Act.
All of them are engineers but they got their dreams, they go for it and work hard.
Result paid off.
and you can see they did alot for their final.
Excellent!

I guess i know his meaning,
he is okay with my career roadmap.
Given me green light
to give myself a good try out.

Jia You Joe!

to cut or not to cut ??

2009-09-02T02:38:00.004+08:00

Result's out.

Dont know what to say..
It's easier to believe
that brings me to my knees.

i need some distraction
or a beautiful release

Let me be empty and weightless
from this dark cold room

i need an angel's arm
may i find some comfort

Silent alone...

A meeting with the Doctor

2009-08-27T01:45:00.004+08:00

28-08-09 noon

a meeting with the doctor at Urology Centre.
Many qns to ask for my Dad.
Gotta control my feeling...

Pissed oFF

2009-08-20T23:14:00.010+08:00

Super Pissed off with a friend on msn chat a moment ago when my mood was high and happy that cant wait to see the UnXpected band.
Wondering why he had to say this to me in this way. What are you trying to show me. Since you bother to say it out, then do not blame it or say its other who ask. Coward sia. The person can come and ask me ma, why will he ask you on his behalf. Furthermore he got my msn ma. As a friend, you should concern and find out why and what thing actually happened to me.
Well I hate your words..

You think i am not sad at all when i got the news long ago.. You think i am not panic meh.. You think i never think at all meh... You think its really my lifestyle meh... And all you think is to see the outer fact and listen to people said only. You never go in deeper to understand why i am suffering like that.

Thats why things did not go out well and people got angry or misunderstanding due to listening to people say. You did not know are they saying the right thing. You never go and understand, communicate with the main person well.

I can tell you the impact even till now still hurting me. Please do not talk about this promotion thing anymore. I really hate that person for that trip. If not that happened, i will have different from now. All the people that close to me will know whats happening between me and him, mr Phantom Mask. I feel all the while i never did anything bad behind him. Thanks for his bold nail onto it, it will let me get even stronger.

My friend's msn conversation previously--

Laughing Boy says:
not today lah
is yest
im wondering ppl got promoted but not u?
what has happen?
u dont seems to panick?
well maybe thats ur own lifestyle
i shld not interfere

---,-'-<@ joe.joseph-- says:
no comment

Laughing Boy says:
im asking on *tom behalf

End-

Shirlyn and UnXpected is back

2009-08-20T21:41:00.006+08:00

Shirlyn and the UnXpected is back. I cannot believe my eyes when Timbre sent me an invitation today during work and saw her name appeared on the first programme schedule. My goodness i thought i will never see her again since she went to LA.
Cannot wait to attend it to hear her singing.

My last time hearing from her is at Wala Wala many mths ago.
Well NUS Cultural Centre here i come.
3 cheers for the UnXpected band!!!

Marathon Blogging

2009-08-17T21:54:00.011+08:00

I do not know why i start to write this strange longest blog.
It all happened when Darren got into a car accident.

Part A- Updates

Last thursday i tried out a new salon recommended by Donn. I am the driver, fetching Nick and Donn to Toa Payoh. Really pissed off when i was actually doing my parking and both of my parking slots were taken up by two no manner-drivers. How can they immediately cut in like that, bully P-plate sia!

The small salon opened up by a twin sisters, given us a warmly welcome and i got what i like for my hair cut. Hmmm guess i going to change my orchard salon over there in any time.

After that i received a call from Darren. He got himself into a car accident. So worried about him. Luckily he was fine, it was a small one with three cars banged into one another.

But i was not rest assured, the accident keep running in my mind thinking of something.
I have finally finished that drama- Heart of Greeds and all the while i had stopped at episode 36 as i dare not to continue, if not i will see the saddest part, that accident.

When a person is gone, alot of things you want to say to him has vanish in the thin air.

I feel i have many things to say since i am here now..

Part B- Granny (Mohd Ali Lane--MAL)

I brought a sleeping bag for Granny. Did not know she refused to accept it as she got her own reason. The Pride!
I happened to know about her story-her son. Whereby i cannot say it out as it is her personal stuff. Very sad about it that happened to her and also she rejected my kindness of letting her to sleep well.
I know what she is trying to tell me. Certain thing you want, you must work hard for it, not by short cut way.

I accompanied with her for many hours talking about my family, my career and my love problems, everything how i feel now before i headed straight to my 21km AHM marathon run( Link to part E)

Granny wants me to believe and believe myself.
She say what if one day she is not around, she will not be there for me anymore.
Tears were running down from my redness eyes..
can you guys do not take such a good granny away from me, Please please...
I dare not to face this day.

I realised a song of what she said where she want me to believe. Heard it before from the movie of "Prince of Egypt".

Some important words highlighed me from the song.

" I must not afraid although i know there is much to fear but as i keep moving, there can be miracles When i believe.Though hope is frail, it is hard to kill "

-WHEN YOU BELIEVE-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxIN79n4jVo

Many nights we prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hope for a song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could, whoa, yes

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe somehow you will
You will when you believe

[Mmm...mmm...mmm...yeah]
Mmm...yeah...

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seems like the summer bird
Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full, I can't explain
Seeking faith and speakin' words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles
When you believe (When you believe)
Though hope is frail It's hard to kill (Mmm)

Who knows what miracles
You can achieve (You can achieve)
When you believe somehow you will
You will when you believe

[Hey...]
[Ooh...]

They don't know it's often when you ask, uh
And it's easy to give in to your fear, uh [Oh]
But when you're blind you find your pain
Can see or wake me through the rain
???Boy, am I still resilient voice???
Says love is the relief, oh... [Oh...]

There can be miracles (Miracles)
When you believe (Boy, when you believe, yeah)
[Though hope is frail] Though hope is frail [It's hard]
It's hard to kill (Hard to kill, oh, yeah)

Who knows what miracles
You can achieve (You can achieve, oh...)
When you believe somehow you will (Somehow, somehow, somehow)
Somehow you will (I know, I know, know)
You will when you believe [When you]
(Oh...oh...)
[You will when you]
(You will when you believe)
[Ooh...ooh...ooh...]
[Oh...oh...]
[When you believe]
[When you believe]

Part C- Now and Future

I believe i have not actually put in my best effort to strive for the best that i can be.
Everything i have done so far had been steps neatly carved out by the Singaporean education system and i have never had the chance to sit down and think through carefully what i really wanted and give my 100% to work towards it.

I still remember what Loanshark told me, remember to care more about yourself and not always worry for others!

This day, i am finally freed from the apron-strings of the system. But my life ahead still seems blurry and fluid. I have had 28 long years to think through what i want to do with my life. And at this point, i cannot deny i know exactly what i want. But... this is the beginning of an incredulous journey and i am glad to have my family and friends with me while i embark on my search for my own meaning in life.

My birthday going to come soon, it will be my last twenty. I do hope it will be a memorable birthday celebration for me, i want to enjoy till max and welcome myself into a new 3 digit on the coming year.

Part D- Mummy and Daddy

While i was walking out of a restuarant after a dinner. I looked at the back view of the 2 dearest people who brought me up and i cannot help but feel that they have really aged.. My Daddy has always been the Mr Nice Guy who is a go-getter who has taught me so much about putting my best efforts into everything. My Mummy, on the other hand, is an easy-going and never fails to help me when i am in need.

So, a big THANKS to Daddy and Mummy for everything, putting me through school without a worry and providing for me. Everything that i own today is because of the many sacrifices you made :)

I Love You, MUMMY and DADDY!!!

Part E- AHM Marathon 16-08-2009

4:30am already and i gotta end my chat with Granny, went straight to the esplanade bridge for my 21km Marathon run. My colleagues knew i did not sleep at all and were quite worried about me. Hee i give them a cheerful smile to ease their minds. Sorry to let Loanshark worried, it will not happen again, will take good care of my health.

Oh my goodness, guess who i met on the run.
Dawn, Zi Wei from my school, UniSIM!!!
I was walking toward my bag deposit counter with one super sleeping face and she still can recognize me in the dark. Seriously we have not see each other before in real person.

I was separated from my colleagues after running down from the benjamin sheares bridge.
They were very far from behind. To my surprise, i saw her again at east coast park,
the drinking booth. She was alone, same situation as me. So i accompanied her for this super Long Walk.

I like the part when we pass by every 1 km's panel, we will give both of us a boost up morale, a BIG Five! Haha guess my hand turned red when we reached the 15km.

We completed it by the timing of 3hrs 53mins 08secs.
Congratulations to our COMPLETION!!
Maybe we meet again on the SC run 42km!
Hopefully not at the same two spots area again haha..

Part F- Decision

Since Jer stated on her blog of stopping on a certain thing and it has come to a year already. I was thinking why i cannot do it, but of course my thing is different from her.
Well Jer, Congrats! keep it up okay!

Today i am seriously like to proof to you guys, my own decision about my life's path now.
Start now >> 18-08-2009 ...

Love,
Joe Sim
18-08-2009
05:12am

NUS HaLL

2009-08-11T22:03:00.005+08:00

Hee guess where i am now?
NUS hall!!!

ho ho ho... now i know how's life here!

Tell you guys something, the toilet arrangement here are so different. I went into a female toilet and a girl inside is staring at me. I walk out fast without saying anything. The next moment i thought the next door should be for guy, ended up i am inside a girl room. Oops panic joe ran off this time. Wondered where got girl leave their door open during night time.

Yeah finally i found Loanshark!

Got a cup of brewing milo from her to keep my body warm
and a Redoxon tablet to top up my energy level after a 2.4km run.

Wonder will there be any hall for NIE? i wanna live there too ;p

Okie gtg, my milo is getting cold in any time..

Cheerios
Joe

What lies beneath your mask?

2009-08-10T22:46:00.001+08:00

Long wkend going to end soon.
Good thing always end fast. Cherish most!

a little update on friday, met up with jar- Boss for dinner in vivo.
i havent met her for almost a year already since my trip to russia.
it was a warm up session in the starting, but later part we start to talk
about our personal stuffs which all the years we seldom talk about it.

First time i get to know myself from her view that i am a happy-go-lucky
and carefree person. Wow i missed my past, am i changing? It is true
i really seem so happy whenever anyone see me. Well where is my smile gone to?

Close to the end of our conversation, we both discovered we have our own
blogs! And i did not know she has been writing since her day at her
musicstudio-amk.

Today i happened to see her blog and realised she wrote a post for me.
-What lies beneath your mask?-

Saying about a happy lad of me putting on a mask, no one knows what
lies deep beneath unless i let them know.
Her impression of me was wrong after she read up my emo blog.

Thanks for your comment, i will try my best to hang in there.
"At times we feel lost, jaded, crushed. but we gotta be strong to keep things going.
yes, the world is not fair, there is nothing we can do about it.
work with what is within our means. We may not see any light in the tunnel now,
but we just gotta hang in there till we see a glimmer."

Well maybe i will try to write a happy post in this week later.

a shoulder to cry

2009-08-04T20:24:00.002+08:00

I was plunged into mourning on Friday after the death of Bobby Robson
Struggled against cancer
It is difficult to accept such a person is no longer with us
but he is immortal
because he leaves in everybody who knows him a mark of his personality

a minute's silence

every part of myself being pull down
I am scare
May not see my Daddy
What will happen next
Keep flashing in my mind

Again he did not tell me he got Diabetics and eye blindness
I fainted
Why
Please do not keep everything to yourself
It will make me more worrying
If things get worse
I am lost again
What should be the right way
What should i do
Who should i look for
Everything i see
Black and white

Joe is badly beaten this time
Joe need a shoulder to cry
Joe can you be brave
Joe can you be courage
Joe need an angel to come down and calm him

hello Elmo and Friends

2009-07-31T13:14:00.003+08:00

Yeah our Nicole is back from Japan. Spending so many days over there with bf sia, hee so lovely.

Okay see what she got for me, my dear friend, Elmo, wow so many of them...

So cute and all come in different colours. Too bad elmo joe cannot squezze in to take picture with them ;p

hahaha must quickly arrange a meet up session, we all miss you. Coffee or Tea? ;p

-Granny said-

2009-07-28T04:34:00.001+08:00

Haha again dozed off on my table with the light is still on.
a stressful monday with our work design still do not match into the system level.
Resulting my dinner taken at late hours and returned home very late.

a quiet night today, can even hear a cricket snores haha..
Joe cannot get back to sleep..
suddenly Granny from Mohd Ali Lane came into my mind.
Recently went back to see my Granny again. Wondered how is she doing after did not go back for a long time.
Saw her sleeping place being occupied by a lamborghini.
Cannot believe it the owner cannot do his parking on nearby carpark and caused Granny unable to sleep there.
Whats being able to drive an expensive car with the $1 carpark fee cannot afford, i wondering??

As usual Granny is telling me many meaningful things which i keep learning again and again.

She said a value is hidden in myself.

Imagine a $10 note that crumpled and got dirty in the muddy water, yet still got people take it.
Why? No matter what you did to the money, you still want it because it did not decrease in value.
It happened to our lives too.
Many times in our lives, we fallen, crumpled or maybe ground into the muddy water by the decisions we make and the
circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But remember no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

"Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams"

You are special!

Well said Granny,

One thumb up hee!

放心我对自己的未来有规划，再累也要自己面对

oh no 5am already, gotta get to sleep with later day going to work on that design again.. OH oh my gooooodnessss...

Nite Joe --'-,<@

updates

2009-07-26T05:15:00.001+08:00

26th july 2009 04:40 am

Studying.. researching... thinking....

Spending a little time doing something different, i feel worth it.

Something i promised myself and also for others.

SIM CHUN BOON Jia you!

--Updates--

---Daddy is back home sweet home but still under medical treatment.
I am fully responsible taking care of him.
Every night i need to rinse him with special water before he can sleep.
A long process with the difficulty of separating a piece of clear paper into two,
and mixed with the water and patch it on his body.
Sometimes the paper may tend to close-ed up itself after rinsing with water.
So ended up i need to re-do again to ensure it is in a perfect square shape.
The process maybe long but worth it as long as it helps Daddy.

I remembered a day when i being said badly by my First Auntie.
She wondered how come i am not there looking after my Dad in hospital.
I did not do any explanation as she did not know i went almost everyday.
Just nice that day she came, no one was there.
Was told by my brother a day before, he will be there, but nope.
Feeling was bad, hurt by her said which i think i did not do wrong.
Well i am touched by her when i realised she eventually went to do research on any cures, solutions for Dad.
She sent me a parcel of files last week. Inside was full of details on how to cure it.

Feeling my friends and even First Auntie are all worried about my Daddy.
I thought in this world i am the only one worrying about him.
TOUCHED.
Thanks Guys for the Supports and Concerns!

I may be going China for a walk. Recently met up a few friends and heard there is hope over there.
Currently also doing research on that.
Must find solution soon before the whole report come out on 28th August 2009.

---Recently something did come out on my mind strongly after i met up Evan in Ikea-Tampines.
I want to learn abit on cooking.
He become one of the chef in fullerton hotel.
Feel so proud for him that he got what he want.
Last time in poly we always complaint about engineering haha..
Sad part is i am still here, really so listening to my parent.
Wonder when can i get that luck to go out to give it a try without letting my parent down.

Learning cooking reason is that i can reduce my mum workload. She need to cook two sets of dishes everytime for us and Daddy. And she still need to work, so tiring for her.
And also in the future my wife can get to try my yummy food hee.

---I may want to go for a break after thinking back, this whole year i did not travel at all. Zero record first time.
Doing research for good cheaper prices. Wow i am quite tempted by the jet star promotions.
One promo is the two ticket to taiwan only $300 plus. Oh my goodness, so cheap!
Let see who is the lucky country i am going to say hi hee.

--- 20th july 2009 Monday

ST electronics- SATCOM AND SENSORS is in the new company now. Welcome to upper paya lebar!
I am still not used to it. Missed Jurong East.

Food and transport wise are perfectly fine.
Gng up is Amk, Gng down is Bedok, Gng left is Toa Payoh, Gng right is Tampines.
The four wonders of good food places are within our location hee.
I just need 5mins to reach my workplace from home.
Saved up alot on petrol.

Hopefully i can settle down fast on this new environment.

0600am wonder how come the sky still dark. Is it Mr Sun 's alarm not working??
Well cannot see the sun rise today.
Joe is yawning.
Time to sleep before need to bring my parent for breakfast later at 0900am.

Tata..

13th the black friday?

2009-07-14T01:50:00.007+08:00

13th July 2009 late night

Well it has been a long time i am not here. Guess i am really busy running up and down for hospitals. I can say i am not very good in writing blog. Poor english command and always unhappy feeling writing on it.

Is it a black 13th the friday today?
I do not know the answer but i got a super bad day.

I am Lost.
I am Sad.
I am a super FAILURE!

Finally i told the truth to Grandpa when visiting Grandma.
Got a hard scolding by him.
I am wasting my time or giving myself excuses?

I let everyone down.

Well for Dad, he still want me to help him get that holy water.. And i am helping him.
I wondered am i helping or ___ ??
What should i do?

Worry Worries Worriezzzzz....

Talking to mum to help me console him not to drink, she gave up on him.
Well i told myself i will not going to give up easily even how much i hate for Dad since that feeling in my Primary 4.

I am glad he let me learn in another way to be a better man.
Dad, Believe me, i will try my best to help you.

God please dont let him stay in the hospital for so long... 3 weeks already..
Even the people in the H1N1 security section also know me well.

Seeing many flows inside this room 25, but just only Dad and an old man got held back.
I am very pity on that old man.
I did cry for him for a time.
His case is more worse, hardly can move his mouth. So all his meals are all depend on milk, just one type of food and it goes through the tube into his nose.

Soon or later i going be seriously sick as my movement always in, out hospitals and those viruses can easily attacked weak thinking person like me now.

World is not fair, good people suffer and bad people got what they want.
I am really very angry on someone who planned such a brillant plot on Grandpa (Dad's side).
Caused my Grandpa to be in this state.
I really hate people cheating, lie on me.
I dont want to get hurt again.

Haha my blogging this time is like a mess... guess this is what is in my mind now.

Today i saw Serina at sgh, didnt know she visiting her sister here.
Same block with my dad.
Such a small world to see her.
Her sister got injured badly and going for another round of operation soon.
Heard from Dad its a big news happened- many peoples got serious hurt in the coach accident.
The coach was on the way to malaysia-cameron and crashed into a big loader.
1 dead, 7 serious hurt need to send in A&E immediately.
And her sister is in the 7 people list.
Really hope her sister is okie and go thru well for this operation.

Time is getting late, yet still cannot sleep...
Impact too deep??

AHHHHHHHHhHhHhHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........
Feel like shouting now.
Guess tml going to ecp or west coast, a seaside to give myself a BIG SHOUT! OUT LOUD!!

Night,
Joe
14th july 2009 4:06am

Hospital to Hospital

2009-07-03T02:06:00.008+08:00

02-07-09 Thursday cloudy

There are many decisions i need to make during this period. I am afraid i will make the wrong choice.
--Why i had to make this decision by myself?

Wonder when will Daddy recover fully?
He had been sleeping alone every night at Singapore General Hospital. All of us are worried about him.
--Is e virus so strong to cure?

I realised there are many things that my Daddy did not tell me until today i heard his condition from the doctor. Guess he is worried about us, that is why he is keeping it to himself.
--Why he had to do that?

As the elder of the family, i need to be strong and firm as i know the whole family need me now.
God, please give me some energy.
--Why am i so weak?

Granny suffered a fall today during her exercise walk.
Blood keep coming out from her body non stop.
Struggled herself in Alexandra Hospital.
Thanks to You.
A no manner, no patient guy caused my Granny to be like that.
Hate you till max!
--Why is it another blow to me?

Today went to see my dad, after awhile i need to rush over another side to see my Granny.
It is like from one hospital to another hospital.
Guess what, it is my first time to lost my way although i am a good Road Directory.
Instead of going to Alexandra hospital, i went to Thomson hospital.
Oh my goodness, do not know what my mind is thinking.
--Why am i so depressed?

Memory loss again?

.........................???

A&E hospital

2009-06-30T04:49:00.007+08:00

Usually by this time, i am either doing something or finished something but nope. Sitting down at a corner quietly thinking of many things, cannot get myself to sleep. Should i try the second time for those sleeping pills?

Yesterday 29-06-09, supposed to be a smooth day for me to accompany my Dad to get the medical report but ended up in another hospital. I was panic when i received his call saying he felt pain and his foot was swollen. Rushed back from work and saw his foot. What happened!? Gotta carry him to A&E.

It was a bad weather. Each raining alway give me a thought of something bad is happening. Yes it was, rain through out the whole night. Inside the A&E, it was very cold for me, i was like shivering alone waiting for Dad to come out.

9pm....10pm....11pm....
so hungry, why i did not want to go for my dinner?
Why Dad is inside for so long?
Why Dad's foot swollen?
Why must it happened to my Dad?
There are so many Why WHY wHy going on my mind....

I know it is not within my control but i cannot bear to hear or see it.
Injection process was so long.
Thought the songs in my phone will prevent me from thinking too much.
But again why all songs to me sound emo?

Suddenly i got memory loss, do not know who to speak to.
Thanks to a few friends called for concern and asked me not to worry.

Finally Dad is out but need to transfer to another hospital, SGH in the next morning, 30-06-09.
Please do not happen anything to Dad.

Hope everything is positive.

Please....

A SPECIAL BLOG

2009-06-27T23:59:00.010+08:00

This is my first time I blogging at someone's house, our jason and xiuling new house.

Actually alot of friends discouraging me from writing this post. But I persisted and pluck my courage to post this to express my deepest feelings.

Why am i saying it out again, maybe they are concerning about me. Supposed to be a good teachers' party, but i wore the wrong mask today. An emo mask showing everyone.

Feeling terrible but i want to call it an end. I do not want to keep it in my heart anymore. I am troubled with so many things recently, my father, my works, my studies and my love dilemma. Today i feel like talking about my love dilemma as all these while i did not have the courage to say it out. I feel i do not want to leave things unsettle and leave beside a scar. I should not hide my feeling as this is my blog, i got the freedom to say anything i want. If i am still scare or afraid of people saying, then i should in the first place go back to my old diary writing.

I know there is something wrong from 17-04-09 friday, our last meeting. Can see you are purposely cold towards me, from your every reply. Just because i did something good for you again and repeated the history again? 6 times rejected and promised what we have previously said on christmas eve as not to mention this issue again.

Yes the gifts are more than a friend's doing. I know in the first place i should not give them to you. But i know the stress you are facing in your final exam and at the same time someone passed away. I know that kind of feeling. So i told myself i have to give them to you no matter what happened. I know doing these stuffs is like a kid, and it is very foolish. But it is just my little token of concern and effort to cheer you up. My main motive is to want you to give it all out in your last papers. Actually i am looking to the day when i can attend your convocation.

Frankly telling you, yes the stuffs i did, i got put feeling on it when doing. I admit myself i still love you sincerely. Alway staying aside quietly helping you as a friend. It is only friend role then i can have the privilege to help you. You still remembered our last wine session when you asked me this question, why all these while, unlike others, why am i still treating you so good? I purposely jumped the topic as i am afraid that i will scare you away if you know the real answer. Well you got the answer now. Am i so foolish and naive that i alway handle my love relationship so seriously and faithfully, treating a girl so good. I alway think time will tell everything unlike others that sometimes treat love like probation period. Ever since i get to know you, i finally realised the true meaning of love. I feel i can do anything for you, i want to take care of you, share your sorrow and share my happiness with you. I thought after a certain period of time you will understand how I feel towards you. I am not sure when you will accept me but I do not mind waiting by your side helping you, concerning about you. I really never push you and ask for any forms of return. I just want to see you happy in your life, then i will feel better.

Well i think in the end, it is my fault. I putting in too much feeling on it and put you in a difficult position although I know you want to accept me just as a close friend.

I am writing this is not to get your attention or concern but just want to say it out for myself. But why everytime i did anything good for you, you will straight away disappear. Do you know i doing all those stuffs is not for anything but just want to encourage you, JIA YOU! Guess i am scaring you away and put you in a hard position to face me. I know you are not ready as you just gain your freedom. It is something u alway say being single is great. Well i really do not agree as if you really meet someone special, then you should seize the opportunity to be with that special one. Well I feel I do not have the right to stop you and say you anything but I think I respect your desicion. I have to move on and wish you all the best.

I am really feeling lost nowadays, feeling listless during work. After work, I have nothing to look forward to. I just feel that I have lost my aim in life. So I tell myself I must pick myself up, regained my drive and zest in life and move on. I am just too tired and exhausted right now and I want to start afresh with the next stage of my life. I am no longer young and I still have alot of exciting things waiting for me to experience... so if fate permits, our paths may cross again....

Hope you really can find a guy who truly love you. I do not want wish to see you hurt again. It will make me feel pain.

So take care and friends always.

Love,
Joe Sim
28-06-09
02:50 AM

Reading night

2009-06-26T03:52:00.005+08:00

-- Coming to 4am, finally finished my reading.

This is a fabulous book which I was impressed with its clarity, its many examples. It is a new psychology of health and joy.

A class of its own in depth of understanding and is exceedingly helpful in clinical practice.

One thumb up!

-- Well a busy teacher' week for me. Met up a few teachers and realised there are many things i need to get prepare first before going into NIE.

Mature tactically a lot over this season, and ready to challenge on all fronts!

-- Cannot wait for this coming sat 27-06-09.

It is a major event- Teachers' function party!

I brought 2 bottles of good wines to share among all teachers.

Abit scare cannot 'click' with them, as most of them are highly ranking-PHD, seniors.

Oops better prepare myself with some interesting topics to share with them first.

-- Sunday 28-06-09,

I promised myself gotta go down to look for this place to pray for Daddy, good health alwayz.

Will spend many hours over there as heard from others that wishes do come true.

-- Okay time for bed, if not later going to be late for work.

Night Joe~

Blogging Time

2009-06-20T14:30:00.006+08:00

73days...

20th june 2009
a day of working again..

Haze from forest fires in indonesia started. Likely return of El Nino- which brings dry weather to our region and a H1N1 community outbreak threatening.

World is sick? Am i too?

Many things occured too sudden.
Some good, some bad.

ST-satcom dept going to move over to paya lebar at 18th july 2009.
New expanded area.
I am being appointed as company logistics- planner ic.
Work loads filing up.

Yesterday saw my gigantic satellite brought over from Russia.
That time i had a hard time of getting this project completed.
So great to see it working perfectly here.

Works, not smooth.
Problems do come out often in the engineering area.
Especially you are facing a lot on components level.
They may not work perfectly well on your design.
Terms like obsolete, lead-free, manufacture-design, tolerance, MOQ, cost, time appeared as a problem.

No more monday blue.
It was a good start of this week.
Wearing a baby blue shirt sleeves.
Giving colleagues a purely sweet look.
And surprisingly i won myself tickets to the zoo and the flyer.
Thanks to someone hee.

Missed zoo deeply.
I want to enjoy myself extemely high over there.
Going to take many pictures with the nature scences and the animals.

A good shopper lover did not get anything in the Polo Ralph Lauren Staffs event.
Oh thats amazing weird!
Surprisely i did not spend a single cent.
keep thinking of my Dad on that night.

Father Day is coming.
Do not know what to get for him.
Cannot bring him out for good food.
Maybe taking a breather with him on my bike.

Sweet memories when i am small that time.
He showed me around sg with his vespa scooter.
That is how my passion comes on bike.
And i got myself another good nickname, Street Directory Boon from friends.

Well feeling much better,
have to get back to my report again.

An early Happy Father Day to You!

Love,
Boon

-- VINCENT --

2009-06-14T00:44:00.008+08:00

Thanks kk, such a nice guy for getting me this Don Mclean CD. Inside got a song that i really wish to hear, Vincent.
A touching song to please anyone especially during night time. This song is created in memory of Vincent Van Gogh, a Dutch artist, who produced many of the world's best known paintings, then later, he made the world realised that the depth of his love was what his life was all about...

Starry, starry night. Paint your palette blue and grey. Look out on a summer's day. With eyes that know the darkness in my soul. Shadows on the hills. Sketch the trees and the danodils. Catch the breeze and the winter chills. In colors on the snowy linen land. Now i understand. What you tried to say to me. How you suffered for your sanity. How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they'll listen now. Starry, starry night. Flaming flowers that brightly blaze. Swirling clouds in violet haze. Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue. Colors changing hue. Morning fields of amber grain. Weathered faces lined in pain. Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand. Now i understand. What you tried to say to me. How you suffered for your sanity. How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they'll listen now. For they could not love you. But still your love was true. And when no hope was left in sight on that. Starry, starry night. You took your life as loves often do. But i could have told you, Vincent. This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you. Starry, starry night. Portraits hung in empty halls. Frameless heads on nameless walls. With eyes that watch the world and cant forget. Like the strangers that you've met. The ragged men in ragged clothes. The sliver thorn of bloody rose. Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow. Now i think i know. What you tried to say to me. How you suffered for your sanity. How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they're not listening still. Perhaps they never will.

This song reminded me of this show 溏心风暴. It is the best drama i ever seen. Many things i learned from there. Growing more mature with these meaningful espiodes, ie 14- taught about friendships and relationships, 27- family distance as "da kan" mum passed away of this illness, 30- money issues and plots setup by wicked, greedy peoples. 31- why blog without attract attention (AA). From these esp., knowing the important of friendships. I forgive everything and sorry if i am. Whatever illness he got, everyone in the family must be close together. Most guys feel blogging is a waste of time, "wu liao" as no people will see. But i disagreed . Whenever a person is not happy, it is not go for drinking or looking for people to chat, you tend to feel like writing. The feeling will get better. Anyway there are many complicated peoples in this world, must know yourself who is really your real friends and normal friends. Treasure them before you lose them.

Take care.

Love,
Boon

Bake TimE

2009-06-07T14:48:00.005+08:00

Didnt huat properly.

1 batch chewy, 1 batch crunchy.
Experimented with frosting and molds.

Many eggs going..

Give my dead blog some colours in life..
Love baking.
I remember my first baking artpiece is Oreo Cheese Cake.
Haha did not know the ingredients that i spent so much was on that one small packet of milk.

@>-'-,--- Speedy Recovery---

2009-05-31T04:47:00.008+08:00

So similar...

There is always a beginning.

It was beautiful and smooth, bring me alot of future thinking and expectation but hiccup will occur out of a sudden.

Very true, totally depicts what i went through. I know this time round, it is going be tough. You are not me, you have no idea how hurtful it was on me, but i have to brace through all alone. Too heavy on me. Days passed by in a daze. I live these days without having much recollection of what happened, each day passed by and i cant really remember what had happened the day before. Memory loss i tink. If only i can just erase the whole chunk of memory or better still, i will turn back time and not gone for that operation at all.

Ah ma gone and i did not have the chance to see for her last look.

This period i have been very down, my spirits can never be lifted up, how am i going regain my positivity? The kinda want very much to cry yet cant cry, it is even more tormenting. I can feel my dad's pain and he need us now, together strongly to show him the concern and care. Something is missing whereby my brother dont feel it. He does not know it at all, creating unneccessary problem for us.

A word kept flashing into my mind recently, immature. Seeing many things going on which i cannot stand it, why they did or think of such silly things? Colleagues, friends and even my brother...why? I feel i cannot communication with them anymore.

Whatever i want, i can never get in life-- NEVER! i cannot understand why. Did i had such bad karma in my previous life that i have to suffer this.

Granny (Mohamed ali lane ) say must know how to wash yourself, to bring the purity to life. Not every knots cannot be tangled off. Need to respect each other then everyone will live peacefully. She said no need to change for others, without any anger is good. Be myself to have such a good character, others will envious they dont have.

Well it has affect my work for one whole month. I cannot concentrate at work. I cannot work to my optimum lvl. It is pulling me down.
Tomorrow i am going to DSO, national laboratories to do some research and testing. Going be a hard week for me where i need to have a clear mind first.

I feel like giving up on this coming sat, 06/06' final competition, lack of supports and the morale is low. Well i hope to recover on that day immediately to perform my best, cannot afford to let this championship cup slipping off to other teams.

Happiness is something we must fight for and not wait for it to drop by. Some are lucky, happiness is always around them. As such, they dont value happiness as much. But for us who aint lucky enough, then we have to fight for it and do something about it. Rather than wait and mourne, happiness will never occur on us. Similarly, misery is not something we have to wait for it to disappear. It is something we have to get rid of. It is again dependent on ourselves to get rid of misery and not let it spoils the whole of us. Like the saying goes, a rotten apple if left unattended will spoil the whole basket of good apples. Just the same as misery, if we leave it unattended in us, it will only cause more misery in us. So i have decided, i will fight for my own happiness and get rid of my misery. Rather than indulge in self pity and self questioning about certain happenings. Things happen for a reason, they always do. If it happens not to your liking, be glad that it happened earlier than later. If things happen according to your plans, embrace it with gratefulness. No one can give me the happiness i want except myself because it is me myself who will determine to live happily or sadly.No one can cause more misery than myself because it is again myself who will allow the misery to set deeply in. I believe one day i have my own happiness to share and be proud of.

Dad not matter how hard you go through,

Daddy i ♥ u
Always..

Speedy Recovery!

Loves,
Joe Sim

Get Well Soon Okie

2009-05-25T01:27:00.009+08:00

Feeling lost.. went back to Mohamed ali lane to look up for Granny again. Sometimes u will expect something different from her. She speaks from her heart-true and simple. It smoothens my feeling and open up my mind.

Heard many stories from friends saying their dads are not good or something. But something happened to my dad. He is really a good dad taking care of us, this family. Why god must ill treat him like that, given him this illness whereby he is such a nice, helpful guy. He does not smoke, no drink, faithful to my mum, hardworking. But why.. why.. why...

These few weeks i can see he is getting weaker and tired. I do not know how to response to it.
Feel like saying out to you guys, my close friends asking how, what should i do?
Sorry kept telling nothing happened, always putting a smiling mask on it.
Well it affected my mood on work. Took many mc 's and leave 's recently. I am afraid boss will look into it, my performance. Got to work hard now, if not i cannot meet the deadline.

Darren, Ivy, Donn, Alex, Jason, Ivy, Nick, Xin Xuan, Queky, Karen, Huey Min, Jasmine, Birdie, Nancy, Weijie, SoonMing, Henry, Chan, Clarence, Dawn, Esabelle
-Thank you very much for cheering me up, listening to me, helping me.

I will try to be happy, gain back my confidence and be myself okie.

Well its getting late, 2am plus.
Hope i can sleep now after saying everything out.
Wish me a good week start ahead.

Loves,
Joe

Starry Starry night

2009-05-09T20:34:00.007+08:00

so many stars in the sky today... haiz..

How i wish in this world, everyone is friendly and easy going.. sometimes i wonder money really so important to everyone? Because of money, it make this world so ugly. You can see evil guys coming out. I remember ah ma always want me to know how to write this word, Simple. It is simple, with nothing inside but the contents is peaceful. To be a sim family people with simple mind, everything will go smoothly, no worries, no stress. You will not meet up any funny things or bad guys causing/plotting problem on you.

Ah ma, how i wish i am that country mouse -(country mouse and the town mouse). I really cannot find myself belong to this town. so Hard to breathe inside there.
I love to see you and ah gong in the farm. Growing all kinds of vegetables, still remember the funny chillis you planted. Ended up i ate the wrong one, so hot for me. Pond fishing with many little black tadpoles swimming around. Interesting frogs life cycle story you told me. And the funny chicken farm, always had many great fights with the chickens for collecting the eggs. And during one time, i lost. In the process, i got a deep cut on my right knee. Ended up the scar is still there. Love the part during evening, we always run to the airport runaway seeing many planes flying off. So sweet the scenery with the background of the pinkie sunset!
I remember i told myself i wanted be like them one day, flying around seeing the whole world.
Still remember Miss Foo Moi Lee, my primary school teacher praised me, saying my knowledge and passion on planes are so strong, my dream will come true.

Hey Thanks Alex for bringing me to T3 recently which all these while i never been before.
All the little memories bound back into my mind.

Work, work and work, i dont know how much efforts and researches i have put into it, the Modules still dont come out good. Deadline is close, i dont know how to make it work on the design? Help me! I think i really dont have that engineering talent.

This period how i wish to have you friends support and warm concerns.

Wish me luck on my application, hope to get in NIE in july.
And sorry Mum, i didnt update my april process, will load up soon these few days when i am free. I think the dinner on june will be on me liao.

Anyway,
Happy Mum Day!

..Lost and Found..

2009-05-08T01:47:00.004+08:00

Today, my topic is lost and found.
Recently, a series of incidents has happened in my family, friends and works.
And i thought i lost it.
All the laughter and happiness that used to be around me.
Luckily, that is these bros.
They have been putting in so much effort in pulling me back together.
And they are Donn, Alex and Darren.
Sometimes, i think they are strange guys.
I always nagging at them for many things.
But to me, they are like my DAD.
During the stress and down period they will give me a hug.
Just like yesterday night i went into boozer land after a bad day at work.
There was nothing inside but to me, its content is love.
From now on, i wish to receive their hugs every year, every month.
No, everyday.
Because i know them will bring me love and happiness.

Loves,
Ah Boon

2009-04-29T05:08:00.003+08:00

. a timely word may lessen stress .
. a loving word may heal and bless .

TP TesT

2009-04-22T02:13:00.004+08:00

Finally i met up with Alex and we have a long chat plus my nice brewing lemon tea and his funny coke around. Well he didnt agree with our whole design company setup and he given me some ideas on it. Hey Guys, guess our next meeting going come up soon. I got some discussion to bring out. Seeya!

Went to Loyang Da Po Gong to pray for exams luck.. as usual still got so many people at this late hours.
Well Good Luck for my TP test today!

Smilez,
Joe

Queky Duck- Rhino Joe s' Chat

2009-04-05T14:15:00.006+08:00

R: why? I realised 1 out of 10 guys will write Blog.
Q: why should I write a blog?
so that I can showcase my life?

Q: my own analysis of being who writes a blog.
reason 1) attention seeking, want people to show concern and be interested in their lives.
reason 2) Archive: want to record down events in their live like a diary so that they can read when they are older
so, what is your reason?
I mean...my own analysis of those who write a blog.

R: im surely for reason 2
cos i dont give my blog website to anyone, only close ones.
so its not seek for attention.

Q: wah kao whats up with the Elmo pics?
u gay ah
R:who say man dont ve their childhood fav character..

Q: but i do encourage u to write a blog
it will improve your written english
if u put in the attempt to check before u upload

Q: maybe you should refrain from using fancyful english
onli, pplez, nw
i think if u wanna improve u have to be strict about it
else it becomes a habit
R: Got it! Hee thanks!

Interesting chatting... gain something into my mind.

Short Sweet Saturaday

2009-04-05T02:56:00.004+08:00

~MEMO~
Qing Ming Jie falling today
-woke up early for market
-cooking process, im watching onli hee
-ah ma here i come
-ahhh hot hot sia... weather..
-sunburn
-many pplz, crowded..
-nowaday seldom young ppl come for it
-miss ah ma
-my last knowing i with her is at Haw Par Villa
-formerly called tiger balm gardens
-many memories recalled

Late for driving
-no more mistakes to be commit
-wrong upslope mistake making such a hot news
-so paiseh
-exam coming soon

Discharge
- Yeah Mr Wong recovered
- thanks god

Discussion
-another proposal talking
-a serious case, pls follow my plan
-it will work out smoothing
-wish u luck guys tmr when meeting him

Late dinner
-Mum with me craving for curry potato
-her fav yummy cooking

Works
-many reports to do
-haiz 4am still awake nw

take care =>

Joe almost bought himself a bunny rabbit

2009-03-31T02:43:00.002+08:00

Joe almost bought himself a bunny rabbit.

Passed by a shop. Hey! I saw little bunnies hopping, crawling around and they are so cute..
Was thinking of getting one for myself to keep me company
but just when i was about to queue up for payment.. haha something jumped into my mind.
I stopped and didnt buy it.
its ALMOST.

i never thought whether i buy it back..
Will he or she feel lonely mah ah...?

Precious Life

2009-03-30T04:40:00.004+08:00

Not sure these few days.. emo's coming back... but i told myself must control it since i've come all e way here already. 2 more mths before submitting my progress report. Well tears within e internal line without letting it out.

Why good people like Mr Wong dont smoke, dont drink.. kind, humble person end up laying in CGH now.. Getting a stroke 's a serious case yet he still can smile at us asking how re we doing.. He totally didnt know we are all worried about him. I cant bear to see him laying in bed with his only own wife looking after him. I wish he able to drive back his Mercedes-Benz car rather than giving us for free..and back to his director post, guiding his company success.

Well Donn, after that long nite chatting, i hope you can follow my healthy lifestyle. I will plan many sport, leisure events for ya. Do not wish to see you smoke and drink too much. Sorry if i said too much but i meant for your good, care of your health.
Hope u understand.

Life is so precious.

我永远不会忘记今天

2009-03-19T23:46:00.003+08:00

人去了没什么，自然界的规律，生命形式的转换而已，只要他们去得平静，没有痛苦。
没有看到最后一眼也没什么，心结其实还在“子欲养而亲不待”上，后悔没在最亲最爱的人活着的时候为他们做得更多更好，带着愧疚的伤心会需要更长的时间放手。
我光想想如果突然有一天得知关于父母不幸的消息，我就不寒而栗，觉得不能原谅自己这么多年在外面没有来得及尽孝.

不会忘记，更重要的是现在那些还活着的亲人爱人，对他们好，让他们快乐。

只能感叹生命无情的一面.
然后就是在慢慢的调整中好好照顾自己吧.

-Past one month-

2009-03-12T21:29:00.007+08:00

Im back again.. didnt know ve been away for so long.. All the while i ve been busy with my work. Didnt know come to this stage is quite tough, things didnt go smoothly. Doing alot of research and system analysis. Results didnt come out what i want. Omg.. Boss scheduled this 2yrs project to complete in coming June. Running out of time.. feeling lost, thinking what kind of 'magic' to let my modules to pass.. haiz~

while away...
Picture1) went for cycling in ecp with this group of friends, Ocean Four. Planning the next one at bukit timah nature.

Picture2) funny, friendly, click-click colleague cheering up my day alway.. Winnie Chan- the pooh.. look alike rite? ;p

Picture3) Stress on my work during late nights.. Class 95 is alway there for me.. Oh
cant rem which nite i took this picture that came out this song, my fav, i alway delicated at wala wala. check out this mtv-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5nLGpbTX2Q&feature=related
Film- my sassy girl
Musique- Daniel Bedingfield ' If you're not the one"

Picture4) my Xiao Bai!! accompanying me every nite at e pine pool. oops she dozed off again.. guess i nagged too much my emo.. lol;p

Picture5) Baby Lobster in my house.. i wonder how big can it grow.. currently this little tank, he keep complaining too small to swim.. see so frustrated that he jumped up trying to ecsape.. lol..

Picture6 and 7) Bro, Queky Duck.. lol too bad.. caught u off guard in this pic.. lol
we've blading plus enjoying our sea breeze together...

Picture8) my Dear Mummy, we had a date on vday-dinner. She's so Beautiful! Love u MummY!

Picture9) Yummy ginger plus egg pudding-nice combination i mentioned.

Picture10) a small gathering with my primary school friends

while also busy myself at hospital.. a night where i sat down with a cup of hot mocha, seeing so many patients and ambulance 'busy' in- a busy nite.. their faces telling us that life is precious.

my mind come to this : To the world, you may be one person but to one person, you may be the world....

Do free to drop by this small lane at Mohamed Ali where there is an old ah ma sleeping there every night coughing, shivering.. only cardboards to cover herself. Her living is just selling old stuffs that she collected and will display out for passerby people to buy. Feel pity for her. I really hope u guys can drop by, maybe buy something from her, make her life beautiful.

okie gtg.. time for work again..

take care guys!
mIss ya!

Joe & Joe

2009-03-04T02:09:00.002+08:00

Hi Guys! Im back from so called outer space LoL.. Missya, miss Blog!
hmmm still unable to sleep.. busying on my work, projs and some proposals.. coming out awhile here to relax myself.

above 's my best cousin bro, Joe! where my name does come from him. Taught me many things going..
finally see this day u and joan married.. i promised mine will be greater than u. Settings and Tables i've fixed on my mind already.. ^^

okie will updates some other news soon.. bye back to work again..

2009-02-14T18:49:00.006+08:00

~BBQ Gathering~

~Lovely cousins~

Agreed with Mum on 01-06-2009 to show her my achivement/progress card.. and see who 's e winner for doing greater and happier.. Loser gotta treat a fabulous dinner. Haha i make sure i got all e starter, main course, desert plus drinks from you ;p

this week i planned an outing with old friends for bbQ gathering and also meeting my lovely cousins for updates. Hee i still feel im a good planner, able to get all things done well, so many of you came for this BBQ ^^

today has come again. when i woke up, can feel e sweetness over the air. I wish all couples a happy valentine day. Take good care with your real heart on your Dear and Darling! hee..
Well frankly, I am just a very down-to-earth boy, really dont know how to express my love well and say all those sweetness words out like you guys. I wont say that i am super good in all ways as i do have my imperfections. To me, Love is like playing piano, 1st you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from the heart.

Hope my true love partner able to find me soon, waiting here ready everything to share my joys and filled my heart.

HappY Valentine Day!!

2009-02-08T15:26:00.007+08:00

Didnt do well last friday, but i promised myself to do double well on the next test.
22nd april here i come.

Recently encountered many stuffs coming into my mind. Am i too nagging to everyone, keep disturbing u all? on every simple little thing easily affected my emotion...?

Dont tell me a person, your friend' s condition getting worse, going in for 2nd operation, u got no feeling for him. ~ just that a little bit feeling..?
But well im merciless, control myself not to think too much, staying at where i am that night. Didnt go and see him, thinking i may not able to control it before my tp the next day.
I learned from there, why should i sad at anything... cannot let emo control me easily.
Look at me and him whereby im fit and strong, got both hand and leg to achieve things i want, but compared to my friend, he cant now. His future seriously affected alot. Get up well Gerrard!

Dear Ma and Dad, i cant breathe at all, u guys control me too much. I really hope u guys sometimes can praise me at least just once if im doing good. Let me have the freedom to do what i want. i dont want to keep hearing u guys telling me many times ahh this one cannot, ahh that one worse, dont do dont do that.. haha i know u guys care for me, love me but believe in me, i have grown up.

Im independent now, going to learn the hard way to be a real man.
And i promised i wont disturb u guys again too much.
Haha dont ask me go drink too much again, cause those only instant give you high, it wont solve any my problem in the end.

~~What are the simple pleasures in life you indulge in?

Apart from my work, I am really a simple guy, just want a simple life, not up for too glam stuff. I wish for simple pleasures like hugging in the arms of the one I love, cooking together. Just the little sweetness of me and my loved one enjoying the sea breeze, having a little wine, sharing thoughts in life by the balcony will make my day~~

I miss Dar, alway there for me. But heard from him, he confirmed going to be in Tibet with Ivy for some time working there. Miss you much.
I promised to show u real result in 2 years time. I wont lose to u in my career. my sales job going to delay till April already. Okie let jia you! All the best to us! Sorry i cant join u there because of my family commitment.

Above picture~ happy family of ivy parent with Dar in Chengdu

Take care all my friends! Success in anything u wish. but dont too greedy wish too much hor ;p

and lastly,

haha Mrs Blog, sorry take up so much of your time today.

Jovial Joe ^^

~Judgement Friday~

2009-02-05T18:43:00.005+08:00

Ahhhh nervous percentage increasing inside me... currently reaching 80%...

Really not sure what going to be happen tomorrow friday 6th feb 2009. Its seriously consider as a BIG day for me. Finally im on the track for my long waited TP test. Hopefully morning traffic is smooth, no cars blocking my way. And not be a formula in the circuit, alway kanna scolded by my instructor for driving too fast inside. haha i wondered why i cant stand slow moments. Maybe i used to my 'lao bo', usually drive 120-150 km/hr. Really not used to the speed limit 10-20 km/hr inside the circuit. Thats why always go off engine easily. Tomorrow i going to be patient, cautious and keep a big look out. Its a one-time test for me, cannot afford to fail. Cause this TP i have waited since 2002. Wow thats seven years back. Had spent almost $4k renewing my licence as a student inside my bbdc school. Seriously after i transferred myself as a private student, i realised its a good choice choosing private compared to school.

My passion is increasing high in this year and to everyone hopes, this test i cannot afford to fail. If not im surely be super upset and hurt. I will try all my best.

Wish me many Lucksss!

HappY Chinese New YeaR!

2009-01-24T18:08:00.008+08:00

I have such hectic time these couple of days because of the preparations for Chinese New Year and on top of my parent commitments, i have volunteer work at the hospital and training for Sunday School.

wow one more day to go... hee ^^

my Chinese New Year stuffs have landed!

Have you been out to the markets, dried food shops and supermarkets?
I didn't due to a bout of flu and only went out a few evenings ago. I am exclaiming in glee when I saw those siku (seegoo or whatever you call it) available in the vegetables section. I love those little tubers because it can be made into crisps. Then, those waxed ducks and meats are here too. I am going to grab myself a bunch of wax ducks to make lotus leaf rice. Not forgetting those pork liver sausages from China. Make them into a rice casserole and feel the New Year mood. On top of that, the small oranges are plenty too. But they still taste sour. And those canned foods are stacking up in e drawer. It is nice being Chinese because we really pig out once a year with very little consideration for costs.
I am going to be so busy from now on, collecting my Ang Baos.. hehe..

Wish ya an early HappY Chinese New YeaR! CHeers EveryonE!

- - - message - - -

2009-01-18T19:22:00.000+08:00

today noon... got this passion gng for a swim to tan myself after my driving lesson.. as usual, Pine pool here i come!

Love this pool so much... esp e nite after 10pm... u will find alot of things or answers u want to know... and can see my usual friends- xiao bai, nitesubmarine, bookworm2, volin gal, guardman, sometimes cookie mons..

And ah ma...
today got this message sending thru from her... hw i wish she can stay abit longer, dont go so fast away.. i missssed her..

~ 笑得发自内心才会快乐。带给别人快乐的同时千万不要忘了自己啊。2009，我们都会过得很好的^^

wo3 pa4

2009-01-18T02:21:00.007+08:00

Gerard ve started to do training on his walking and cycling.. Good start for him.

Well me nope..why that white cloth keep appearing in my dream.. i dont want see it again pls pls..u keep me shivering since k2 and hate u so much esp during P6 and sec4. So horrible making me thinking that i start to lose out friends.. or went to an unfamiliar place.

Out of sudden everyone 's like leaving me when i really need u guys this time.. Dar n ivy gng Tibet and Chengdu for parent visit n plus work site walk. Quek, Alex and gf gng BKK for work. Mum gng kL for bridework. Jason n ivy on honeymoon. Student busy on studies. Mark too, got a gf from childcare centre. Donn busy on dungeon.

Well received another blow happened on friday. Result didnt turn out good. Wanted to go marina barrage alone, ended up cooling down with wines at gateway building and had my fav Royce choco.. oh windy nite~ my hair got messy man..

Sat finally started my driving lesson after a week rest. Well i didnt perform good enough, keep going off numerous times e engine. Wat shld i do, TP 's ard e corner.. Will that day turns out a good one for me?

Without fail, whenever emo, will go for my icecream.
Yeah ordered a sunshine smoothing haagen dazs, Flower Blossom.
And attended a valuable class lesson with student.

well seriously dont know wat...
wo3 pa4...

its really hard to pull myself together during this period. Its easier said than done, but still my health is also impt. If i fall sick, my family and frenz will also worry.

Jia u Boonz..

Joe is in sick room

2009-01-11T23:42:00.007+08:00

Joe is in sick room... cant really sleep well... coughing.. headaches.. eye bags kept filling heavy.. burst out sometimes in a corner.. OH why its like that... i cant imagine such a thing happened to my dear friend. He's such a bright guy who is good in anything.. although i did angry with him sometimes, he always like to change my ideas and ways but i feel he meant good to me.

its a horrible nitemare that this nite devil demon swallowed me in.. Ahhh i cant recognise him at all, so does him. He forgot hw e whole world look like.. oh.. how long u can wake up from that darkdream and face us here which ya better. i will try all means to help u. I cant lose such a friend like u.

Gerard can u wake up! We all need u back.

Busy Week of JAN

2009-01-08T11:46:00.003+08:00

Hey finally got this little time to write my blog. A Great New Yr ahead esp this year is e monkey lucky year. My Wishes MUST come true!
I do hope i can design my own Boon Boon satellite ^^
Well my company going move over to e East soon, cant wait!

What a busy week i've in Jan. Never ever had such a super packed schedules in a week.
Hardly can get more than 4hrs of sleep.
Hee managed to have a little time on MJ. First win in 2009! After these two mths of losses alwayz..

Had an interview at Pan Pacific hotel, hee got a week work trial. Hee attached pics taken during my free time.
**picture**

Did have a wonderful primary school gathering. Hee quite a small group as most of them busy with their own families. Yeah have our sofa seat with our warm brewing coffee ard us and dont know who suggested go all e way to upper east coast to have our deserts..so far..managed to snap a picture of this special dish- Ginger+Egg+Cream.. not bad combination ahh hee...!
**picture**

Well today finally completed my 8 weddings in these two mths.
Ate too much of my sharkfins... oh not going have that again..Hee among these weddings, i liked jerlyn n joshua one!
Cos i enjoyed being their MC. Many funny things happened. My partner and i had a little secret that cannot let J.J know about it.
Ahh i still rem i did a morning pole dancing for jerlyns' sisters. Captured on video and e whole 50 tables crowds LoL. So paiseh standing at e stage being their MC cos easily recognise im e one.
**picture**

Result coming out next week.. Worried.. i do hope everything goes good for Dad.
Love u Dad!
Joe

P/S- **got slight problem uploading e pictures... pending.. **

New Year 2009!!!

2008-12-31T19:07:00.003+08:00

hey guys!

New 2009 yr 's coming... cant wait it man..
gonna better for everyone including me, Boon Boon... hee..

well last day alrdy... alot of memories and notes to write down... ahhh no time alrdy.. gonna go out countdown.. do it e next day..

seeya next year guys!

Joe;P

Last monday blue of e year 2008

2008-12-31T01:38:00.004+08:00

Last monday blue of e year 2008.. lol...
if i've agreed that time, i wont regret now.. ahh.. why am i like that...?

oh Dar, haha dont follow me leh, i bet u wont lor... u will be back.
Well i cant now.. i going to ve a busy 2009 and i dont know when will i've e time to meet up with u guys again.. i also taking full responsibility care of my family as his condition worsen.. dont know what to do.. im worried for this moment, totally no mood or time for other stuffs.

haha sometimes i feel bad i didnt share much with u guys, all e while keeping it to myself, actually how i wish there's a listening ear for me.

a bad friday~

2008-12-28T02:27:00.004+08:00

so many things happened within this period...
wondered how am i going to take it.

got a very bad friday... making me into deep thought..
glad to see all my old friends in that day, didnt know so many things changed...
why its a cycle?? i really wish everyone to be success and more of all be Happy.
sometimes i really think am i too concern and always helping u all a lot?? while myself didnt do much improvement.. i really feel tired..
And sorry i didnt help up that nite.. as myself also abit emo..

Currently im thinking of my parent especially my dad. i want to spend more time with them. Seriously im still hurt in a way i see them alone. All e while im pretending in front of u guys that im okay, everything running fine but im actually struggling to be brave enough to face this situation, i hope dad recover speedy. Luv them a lot!

i thinking 2005-half 2008, really a paused. Gotta move up to higher level in e upcoming year.
well its not a say only, meaning i gotta put on determination x100 to do it. i will!

wish me Lucks!
Joe

WeLcomE

2008-12-26T04:50:00.000+08:00

Joyous Christmas to rhinojoe!!
WeLcomE onboard BloG=>

Finally...

2008-12-26T01:39:00.000+08:00

well after so many years living in this world, didnt know there's such a wonderful thing, BLOG gng on... u sure will love it..
haha alway got fren laughing at me, old man in our generation does not know how to use sia... even my guy friends find it weird to write their stuffs here... laughin at me.. saying guys normally got nothing to say beside career and money...
well haha dont care them...
i find it helpin me in some ways..

Congrats!! setting up my long-waited blog!

cheers
joe=>